Yes, you do have big bum.... (17 - 21 December 2011)

Well the skinny lattes didn't work then.  In the market wandering past the stalls, I tried to put the persistent stallholders off by saying that all their stuff was too small (true).  Have tried everything else to escape them, even using Ant and my Russian "Nyet" doesn't work here as it does elsewhere, given the clientele they all have a Russian sales patter! "No, no", she said, "we have to fit you", proferring a bikini and stretching it out so far you could hear the threads creaking. I put it against me and there was no way.  "Yes", she said looking me up and down, "you have big bum but we have extra large, fit you" and dragged me over to their equivalent Evans outsize department! And yes, their 4XL might just go round..... How depressing, and I might have to give them some tips on successful selling.  But having said that, I'm sure a Thai 4XL is really a size zero....

But undeterred, I sit typing this whilst enjoying another skinny latte and I notice they also sell mince pies.  They don't quite look like the mincies that I know and love, but any port in a storm may mean that this is the place for Xmas breakfast.  And talking of food, I tried the best Thai restaurant in Karon, enjoyed the prawns and even survived the salad bar, something I am wary of even in the UK. The only odd thing about the place was the name - The Vitaporn - perhaps viagra in the rice - run very efficiently by a Thai matriarch and her never ending successsion of sons.  Perhaps there is something in that rice after all!

Viagra salad anyone?

Tuk tuk inflation has really hit here.  They don't have the communal songtheaws that are all over Koh Samui that you can hop on and off and go anywhere for a few baht. The only choice here to get to Patong is to hire one yourself, and at over £12 (and that's bargaining them down to rock bottom) for the short return journey of 6kms each way almost rivals London cab fares.  I could walk despite the huge hill, but the road is really busy with coaches, lorries, bikes and tuk tuks and no pavements...

The hotel is filling up a bit now as I think those here for Xmas have arrived, although it is still nowhere near full.  I can't quite work out the economy here, nowhere is that busy, most of the beach beds lie empty all day and there is a huge hotel next door that is closed down, yet outside every hotel are boards outling the job vacancies for all manner of hotel staff from room maids to reception.  And the line of tuk tuks waiting across the road from the hotels seems to have no business at all with the drivers resting in their hammocks under the trees all day. The Brits certainly aren't here, having been here two weeks now (time really does fly when you are having fun), I have yet to hear a Brit voice, must be a record!

Xmas is coming.... (12 - 16 December 2011)

.....and Gill is getting fat!  Thought I needed to put a baht in the old man's hat to get some thin karma... It worked, after a week of searching, I have finally found somewhere to get a skinny latte.  Apart from diet coke, everything else here including the milk is full on fat.  Add to that a few days of rather heavy rain so less walking and copious amounts of stee rye it was in danger of getting out of hand! So on another cloudy but lovely and warm day I sit outside the Movenpick cafe and enjoy a good skinny decaf....  If it's a skinny one, does that mean that the little spice cake that comes with it is low calorie too?

But Xmas has been slow to come to Karon.  Apart from the "calming" music of Jingle Bells and "I Wish That It Was Xmas Every Day" (not a sentiment I agree with.....) as I boarded the Bangkok Airways flight, Xmas here has been strangely absent.  Until last night - now we have a veritable forest of Xmas trees growing up everywhere.

I went into "town" (Patong) a couple of days ago to look at the shops and to get a taste of home.  It's still there in abundance with Pizza Hut, McD's, Subway, Starbucks, Burger King , KFC and the shopping is still same, same.  Not sure why I expected anything different really! And of course Boots to stock up on yet more mozzie spray, I must be breathing Deet by now but the little b******s are still biting.  I got very excited when I saw that Boots have introduced their Ad Card here in Thailand, but sadly it's not gone global yet, so no baht points to add to my total! And on the notorious Bangla Road, I noticed a new outlet.  Now we've all heard of child day care and even doggie day care, but here in Patong you can get "Husband Day Care".  Apparently you leave your husband there whilst you go shopping and "our sexy girls" will look after them....  Xmas was much also more in evidence in Patong with carols blaring out in shops, from bars and even tuk tuks.  Jingle Bells in Thai does sound a bit odd... And the checkout staff in Carrefour all sporting Santa hats and a ginormous display of plastic Xmas trees.  I thought (but not for long....) of joining in with it all by buying a LED illuminated Santa hat, but you will be pleased to hear I decided against it.

Dinner a couple more nights at the Little Mermaid.  Not sure if they think it's my name, but they now greet me with "Hello, why why?......

TV Heaven (10 - 12 December 2011)

Hooray, the trusty Slingbox works fine so I am now able to look at the news, twitter and Facebook. Had to stop looking at any of these as the time difference here meant that I had to watch both X Factor episodes after they were shown in the UK and didn't want to see the result. Even I am not such a fan as to get up at 3am to watch! On Sunday night the rain was bucketing down so it was nice to sit and watch the telly. I had made it (or should that be waded....) to the little restaurant next door to the hotel - Ann's Place - where the food was good, but a little less so on the booze front. Faced with a choice of Thai wine or Thai whisky, I opted for the only other choice (well, I could have had a soft drink I suppose.....) and went for the Bacardi Breezer, I could get a taste for those.... Another bargain, chicken, stee rye and said drink all for £4. And yet more evidence of the dangers of Thai motorbikes, there was a guy in there bandaged like a mummy. All I can say is that had he never hired that bike, he would have had a much more even suntan to take home....

There are loads of places to eat here but have so far managed to avoid the "Cat and Bumroong" on the beach.... And indeed today I find Nirvana. I wandered up the main street tonight (Monday) and chanced the "Little Mermaid". Right on the street so you can watch the promenaders as they walk by, inhale the tuk tuk fumes, smell the drains, say no to the traders walkng by selling LED bunny ears and manicure sets, and wallow in the cacophony of the remaining taders touting their wares. OK so perhaps not the best location but the menu looked decent and it was busy and what I thought was a good price. When she took my order she asked if I wanted the included why why or salad. Now those of you who know me would of course expect me to choose the healthful salad, but bearing in mind warnings about eating salads abroad, I had no choice but to have the why why... So a plate of good spag bol (back on stee rye tomorrow) plus a glass of the best why why so far all for £3.69 at today's exchange rates. Looks like the "Little Mermaid" from now on then!

Paddling in Phuket (8 December 2011)

I am in Karon, the bay around from busy Patong where I was last time. This has a slightly older fashioned air about it, and is smaller and a lot quieter and missing the huge shopping mall, McDonalds and Starbucks. More of a bucket and spade sort of a place rather than bars and clubs. And bars that serve drinks, rather than girls on poles (as it were...). The beach is lovely pale sand and blue sea but is still crowded with beach beds lining every inch. The downside to Phuket is that most hotels are separated from the beach by a road (think South Circular.....). So busy that most hotels have a "lollipop man" outside to stop the traffic for you to cross! There are zebra crossings here, but they seem more like road decorations than meaningful safe havens from tuk tuks, cars and the ubiquitous moped. And another timely reminder not to hire a moped here, as I sit peacefully drinking my latte and typing this, some poor Western girl has just come flying off her bike...

But the crowded beach is less of an issue for me here. I have fallen in love with pool access rooms, where you can step straight into the pool for a paddle from your room terrace. I discovered these a couple of years ago when Carole came out here. Although the terrace here is quite small - care is needed after a couple of why why's as Thai Health and Safety don't require any sort of barrier between you and the water... Talking of why why, my Thai is coming back well and am still fully understood when ordering said why why and stee rye. And whilst the stee rye is still a huge bargain the why why is not at a fiver a small glass in the hotel of something they sell as why why, but even to my taste in cheap wine is almost undrinkable. It's at times like this I wish I liked beer...

Am staying at the Front Village hotel, yes, it's on the front with a distant view of the sea, and perhaps it was in a village many years ago when it was built.... It seems very quiet and unless it gets busier, the compulsory New Year Gala dinner will be interesting... The few other guests here seem to be Russians and Finns. In fact Russians are by far the majority of tourists in Karon, even the restaurants advertise "International Food, Russian Food, Thai Food and Fresh Seafood" in that order. So blini's and borscht for tea then?

But the staff at the hotel are lovely, and I think the excellent service in the restaurant is usual rather than the result of me being the only person in there... And am lovin' the welcome on the bed and the little elephants in the bathroom made from the flannels.

 Wifi is now sorted and as long as Slingbox keeps going I can sit on my terrace with a drink late afternoon and tune into Jeremy Kyle and catch up with all those episodes of "Banged Up Abroad". Fingers crossed it all keeps working so I can see the X Factor final - my taste in tv obviously hasn't improved! Aint technology wonderful, so good that it was fab last night to Facetime Ant at work in Hertfordshire as I tucked into a Pad Thai here!

Where did all that time go... (7 December 2011)

Here I am back in Thailand, feel like it was only yesterday I was here. Am as usual ensconced in the Great Residence Hotel near the airport before my flight to Phuket tomorrow. It was odd leaving the UK without Ant this time, but only 30 sleeps to go before our adventure into Burma! It was also odd to be on Qantas and not BA but in these credit crunch times I am using my BA points (or should that now be Avios points....) this time and Qantas was all available.

Luckily, the flood problems here have receded, at least around the airport, although there was still evidence of it over a large area that could be seen as we were coming in to land. And until recently the hotel had to substitute the airport minibus for a truck for some of the short journey to the airport. But not much else changes. The staff here are the same and as helpful as ever carrying my big bag up big stairs to the room. And I was pleased to see both national and yellow flags everywhere for my arrival, all around buildings and lining my route from the airport - until that is, I realised it had been the King's birthday on the 5th...

Wiffy And Weddings (29 April - 1 May 2011)

Today is the big day at home, the Royal Wedding. But it is, it seems, also quite big out here. The front page of the National paper, the Nation, has had some aspect of the wedding as its headline for the last few days. But I guess as they revere their Royal Family here, they are also interested in other Royal proceedings. My plan to watch in on the iPad have been scuppered by the odd wifi here. It cuts out every few minutes on the iPad and asks you to re log in. It's a little better on the laptop, but that requires a power source so have moved the deck furniture around, managed to plug it in and off we go, just by the pool. I also have the backup of a snowy tv picture from BBC World, but that has a Thai language voiceover, Huw Edwards does look odd with his mouth moving, but a Thai girl's voice emerging..... But mostly, like the wedding itself, it went well, only requiring two mad dashes across the decking to catch the first glimpse of the frock and the balcony kiss as the wifi decided to drop just at those two moments!



I was also able to cheer the happy couple with dusty bottle of Prosecco I found in the Supermarket, the nearest I could find to champagne, it appears Thai's are not big drinkers....
My wifi issues continue today. I was woken at 7.30 this morning by strange sounds as the aircon turned on and off, followed by a loud blast in the distance. An explosion at a local substation has knocked out the power, and with it obviously the aircon, and less obviously, the water, I guess it must be pumped. The only water that hasn't turned off is that from the sky, I have been lulled into a false sense of security for the last few days with wall to wall sunshine, for today, it appears to be wall to wall rain! The hotel tell me that the power is being worked on but may be some hours..... Especially with the "Thai time" factor..... Oh well, I will just have to drink the last of the Prosecco that I (surprisingly.....) have left before it warms up as of course the fridge is off too..... Cheers!

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Flashbacks...... (25 - 28 April 2011)

This seemed a fitting title for this blog, I have gone from flashpacking in Kuala Lumpur, to backpacking again at the Great Residence in Bangkok, and now back to big (but bargain....) flashpacking here at the AKA Resort in Hua Hin, but it is a bit of a tradition to end my trip with a bit of a splurge. But also Hua Hin is a flashback too, I last came here many years ago, so it will be interesting to see how it has changed.
So leaving Kuala Lumpur, I arrive back in Bangkok late at night and make my way to my little airport hotel. I had planned to get the train from Bangkok to Hua Hin, but wimped out. I need to carry less stuff but that is easier said than done, and managing to get it all into Bangkok City, onto a train and then to the hotel at the other end seemed a backpack too far! And I could shave a couple of hours and a few quid off the journey by getting a taxi so that was what was planned. But I have learned that in Thailand, planning and execution are two different things. Suffice to say, booked taxi didn't show, at the backpacker hotel I was harrassed by the travel desk to take their taxi as soon as the booked cab was a minute late (same price, but I was convinced it was some sort of scam....). I held out for half an hour but finally gave in and was transported to Hua Hin in some style in a Merc limo. But it looks like the cab, booked for 9am, was never going to show and here is the email I received a day later, it made me laugh and at least wasn't me held by the Thai police....

We are very sorry about today's matter.
we all operators really didn't know till some hotel staff called us at 10 : 00.
Because you didn't called and your driver also didn't reported to us.
Hotel staff explained you already left to Hua hin and our driver arrived too lately,
and then, we checked it up to our driver manager, he also didn't know about it.
at last, we contacted and asked to our driver what was going on and why didn't report to our operator.
Your driver had some trouble with traffic policeman on the way, but the policeman didn't accept to let him go to pick up the clients,
so, your driver called his friend urgently instead of him, but his friend also needed time to go your hotel,
he reported us about this matter around 12 : 00 after free from that policeman.
we really opologize you.

Needless to say, I haven't booked them for the trip back!
The journey south felt a little bit like driving down to Brighton for a few days. The road skirts south of the city, but it seems to go on for ages through industrial areas, over huge modern bridges, I'm not sure I quite realised just how big a sprawl Bangkok is. And because it is so flat, you get a great view of the downtown area in the distance. And then on to the motorway where eventually the scenery changes and a few hills appear, just like the South Downs, but perhaps not as rounded!



The AKA Resort is beautiful, and I have been upgraded to a two bed villa.



All the villas here have private infinity pools, and I am now ensconsed in a huge area with a big bedroom, living room, indoor and outdoor bathroom, second bedroom in a separate building and joy of joys my own ten metre pool. Oh, and a big rooftop sala with huge day bed. The place is spread over many acres and is that lovely Thai minimalist design. Monochrome, very Zen, very quiet, lots of water. All the staff wear dark grey loose pyjama outfits so it does have a bit of a feel of some posh rehab place, but worry not, it does have a good bar with a happy hour! As you can imagine, I am quite settled here.....


It seemed a shame to leave the place, but I decided I needed to head down into Hua Hin and check it out. It was unrecognisable from last time. The good news is that the overpowering smell of drying fish that I recall so well had gone. There are now loads of hotels and shops that weren't here before, but it still retains a charm of its own. I go to the Sofitel, the old Railway Hotel at the beach where I stayed before. That looked the same, but I guess it would, it has been there since the twenties.... The only thing I couldn't find this time was the baby elephant that used ro visit the pool at lunchtime.... Health and Safety have probably put paid to that! And the topiary elephants that used to be so good were rather difficult to recognise...



On my walk around I also saw a few more Thai-ism's that I quite like. Gob's Fish and Chips restaurant didn't appeal, and am not sure that Effin Cosmetics will go global...
So back into the hills for a few days of total relaxation.....
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