I am coming to the end of my adventures in Australasia and the South Pacific, so spend the day walking and reflecting on them so far. Of course I loved Oz and NZ, Fiji was a fantastic luxury break, and the lagoon of Auitutaki was probably my fave in the South Pacific. I am glad I came to New Caledonia (apart from anything else, it’s another pin in the map!), but not one of the places I’d rush back to. And I promise you it’s not just ‘cos I had to make my own bed (OK, I know I won’t win “Chambermaid of the Year” but I can do it, see pic). Just appreciate that the view from those patio windows is a fantastic beach and the blue expanses of the South Pacific Ocean, so frankly, the state of the bedmaking isn’t too critical! I guess I’d sum it up as the South of France meets Torquay but with cyclones…. And I realised this evening as I supped my sunset glass of wine in the Café, I have not heard a voice that is not French all week. So the tourist board are not doing a very good job selling this place to the Ozzie’s or New Zealander’s. Apparently a lot of Japanese come here, but they go straight to the mega luxe Isles des Pines, an island some 80kms from here. Although today I did see a bit more of the local culture – a wedding procession went by – a car with the bride and groom, followed by a 4WD playing the loudest rasta tunes you have ever heard, followed by all the wedding cars tooting their horns – not perhaps the Melanesian culture I had come to see, but their local custom nonetheless. But their attitude to someone speaking to them in French has really got to me – what’s not to understand about “un vin blanc”, even the Allo Allo policeman couldn’t have got that wrong, but they still look as if they don’t understand. I’ll stick to the Spaniard’s any day, they at least seem to appreciate your trying their language, even if you get it slightly wrong! But Mum’s view of my French is below in a fab poem she e mailed me today. But even though I won’t rush back here, I never say never, so to New Caledonia I just say “au revoir” (assuming they can understand that……), SE Asia, here I come…..
NONSENSE POEM NO 2 FROM MUM XXX
Ow ees u today my little French Delight
Thank you for your blogs - if I can read them right,
With Bonjours and mai wees decorating my screen
And Google Translator nowhere to be seen!
I bet you stroll around in a little French hat,
And startle the natives who will tell you that,
Can you not realise you're in France when your'e here
Where tourists speak English whilst drinking warm beer
They always look scruffy and don't drink our wine,
Whilst you make it clear you think it's DIVINE
Why aren’t you like that - are you aiming to please?
Outside at our Cafes, ignoring the breeze.
With pain au chocolat and cafe au lait,
Seems like you stay here most of the day,
Speaking our language, looking smart as paint,
You might have an accent but very, very faint!!!
If you're not careful you'll be so much at home,
You won't want to leave - or even Skype phone,
We want you at home - though for you it's a wrench,
And we are keeping you here until you FORGET ALL THAT FRENCH!!!
