Not wanting us to get off our boat hungry, were treated to a big breakfast, followed at 10.30 am by a big lunch, God forbid we would have to drive back to Hanoi not having eaten! We spent the few minutes in between meals doing as instructed by Sunny, our guide to "relax on boat" - always obedient, we did just that. We drifted on through the mist and finally reached the harbour to be transferred back to dry land, strange, a potentially much safer trip than last night, but everyone in their lifejackets... But well done to Indochina Sails and Dragon Pearl 2, a wonderful trip,
On the way back to Hanoi we had decided to stop at a typical Vietnamese agricultural village, Yen Duc. Again, Gill had neglected the detail on this one and we were surprised to find an old Vietnamese guy meeting us along with our driver. He shook our hands and introduced himself, at least we think he did that, his accent was quite hard to understand. He was to drive with us the 65kms to the village. Bang goes our Candy Crush time we thought, but it was Ant who failed on the strategic seating plan. Gill in the back, David behind the guide and Ant in his direct line of information....
He was full of facts and figures but the language difficulty produced some really funny misunderstandings of the Two Ronnie's fork handles/four candles variety. Driving past a pile of brown stuff in the distance we were informed that the area is big on ships. "Oh yes, shipbuilding", Ant replied, feigning interest. "No, ships", said the guide. Thinking then that the brown things must be potatoes, Ant's next riposte, less successfully feigning interest this time was "Ah, potatoes for chips, french fries". "NO" said the old man, losing patience, "SHIPS, wood ships for making paper for the Korean's". It seems the Korean's like their woodchip paper...
David's and my giggling from beyond his line of vision didn't help matters and I think Ant still has the scar from biting his lip.
The language difficulties and four candles moments continued as we arrived in the village of Yen Duc. This was billed as a two and a half hour stop, but we had assumed we would be wandering about on our own so could do the usual speed sightsee and get back to Hanoi in time for an early bia hoi, frankly seen one emerald green rice paddy, seen 'em all... The guide looked quite crestfallen at the news he had exactly one hour to get it done. We were speeded through the gardens like a movie on fast forward, past a (luckily) dead snake and various plants and birds were dutifully pointed out as we were marched through the green fields and muddy paddies. The "stok" was the most difficult to identify, as the guide excitedly pointed and shouted "stok, stok". Stock of rice, we asked, stock of veggies... "No, STOK" he replied and then threw a stone at a rather beautiful stork...
We speed threshed some rice with ancient wooden things and thought we had avoided the dreaded water puppet show. This is a famed attraction in Hanoi, but last time at the Hanoi theatre Ant and I left after a few minutes, puppets splashing about in a puddle on the stage didn't float our culture boat, not enough water to do that... But here they were again, splashing about in a muddy pool in a field. We were surprised to see the rest of the people who had been on our boat and who had taken the Indochina Sails bus back all sitting dutifully looking bored witless as they had to sit through the full half hour... But like the celeb's we think we are, after a couple of minutes, more than enough, we were whisked off in an electric golf cart (speed was of the essence, they must have thought we had some really pressing business back in town), for the final visit to the ancient home of Mr Le. A lovely old house, mostly taken up with the huge altar with offerings of champagne, Choc o' Pies and various other delights left for their ancestors. All his ancestors were displayed on a family tree with some pictures. He was 72 but looked good on it... Then the offering of tea, ginger rice pudding and sweet potato. Not having expected this, David and Gill had not pre planned the old "gyppy tummy" excuse, and David, who is obviously more polite than Gill, gamely ate it all...
But finally time to face the further three hours back to Hanoi, Candy Crush helping the time go by quite nicely, for the well deserved bia hoi, still in the gutter, still on tiny stools. Back to Au Lac for dinner and ready for our last day together this trip.
Our last day was predictable, a frenzy of shopping during a wend through the specialised areas of the Old Quarter, lunch at 6 on Sixteen, sister place to the Sapa rooms, a last pilgrimage to Highland's Coffee and another early bia hoi. David was leaving for the airport mid evening so we had a really good dinner at Pots and Pans, the restaurant where the street kids from KOTO work when they have been fully trained. As with our sightseeing, it was a bit of a speed eat as we were determined to get back for a final bia hoi. David finally gave in to the offerings of a shoe polishing service and whilst his shoes were being buffed up, he was provided with these rather nice blue plastic ones, but they did at least match his socks...
We sat there in the evening chaos and took in the sights of locals and a few Westerner's enjoying the evening and decided that if we were ever to buy a baby, the one belonging to the bia hoi place we frequented would be the one. What a cutie.
After our emotional bye bye to David, Ant and I got talking to a couple of young guys, one of whom was a finance officer for the police. They were so nice they even offered us some of their food, luckily we had the excuse of just having eaten as we turned down a local delicacy of minced pig's ears on a banana leaf... The last evening on the streets of Hanoi finished the way of the first, the police raids started and everyone and their motorbikes were moved out of the gutter, strange, our new policeman friend's motorbike was the only one left standing...
But Hanoi was as sad to see us go the next morning as we were to leave, the sky had a huge, wet, tearful goodbye to us in the form of yet another monumental thunderstorm, almost flooding the airport road - it really didn't want us to leave...
What a fab trip, and here are our best and not so best bits:
Best lunch: first one at Au Lac
Best hotel: Topas Eco lodge for location and Essence Hanoi for efficiency
Worst night's sleep: the two overnight trains - well for David and Gill anyway...
Best drink: bia hoi at 15p, but the good cold why why at a reasonable price was also very welcome!
Smallest chairs: bia hoi corner
Best Museum: Fine Arts
Best mausoleum: Dear Old Uncle Ho
Nicest people we met: Simjeet and Nimrath on the boat
Scariest moment: late night on Halong Bay in a tender, pitch dark, no lifejacket
Hardest moment: keeping a straight face through the language misunderstandings in Yen Duc village
Best coffee: Highlands Coffee, Hanoi
Biggest dong moment: apart from when David said he was long on dong - still not sure to what he was referring... missing the the first "1" off the 15 million price tags in Louis Vuitton
Nicest Vietnamese person we met: Kuhn, the chef/guide who took us around the mountains
Most jaw dropping moment: two tie for first place, first sightings of the rice terraces near Sa Pa and the first sighting of Halong Bay
Most inelegant pastime: Ant and David kayaking
Best company: we three musketeers, A bientot....
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