A summary....
Please drive on the left wherever possible. But don't worry too much if you are only going a few hundred metres, it's probably not worth crossing the traffic just for that. If you are on a motorbike you can drive on the wrong side for as far as you like.
Motorbikes may use the provided pavements as motorbike lanes to travel any distance in either direction. These handy motorbike lanes are also for use by pedal cyclists.
If driving on these motorcycle lanes at night it can be helpful to use the horn to warn any pedestrians to get out of the way but it's not obligatory, you can just come up behind them and rev the engine, they will soon jump quickly out of the way. It's good fun to do this as well.
Motorbikes and pedal cyclists are not required to have lights on at night.
It is the responsibility of pedestrians to move out of your way not the other way around even on pavements. It is fine to miss them by a hair's breadth or even just touch them with your vehicle but any more than that may slow down your journey.
There are not many traffic lights on Samui, so don't worry, just treat them as pretty lights. Obvs Europeans do know what they are for, but hey, you are on holiday so it's cool to ignore them.
The new signs asking for 100% adherence to helmet wearing for motorcyclists is advisory at best - or just a pretty pale blue street decoration.
Similarly any advisory speed limits can be seen in the same way, pretty yellow street decorations.
You do not need to move to one side to let a flashing blue light vehicle go past. Just speed up a bit of possible. If after about ten minutes they still can't get past, you may pull over for them, but it's not obligatory.
The faded black and white zebra like patterns on some of the roads can be ignored. We think they mean something but the reason has been lost in the mists of time along with most of the white paint.
You can park your motorbike wherever you like, the middle of the pavement is a good place as it's less likely to get hit by anything else. Pedestrians can walk in the road to get around it.
If you need to reverse to get out of your pavement parking spot you don't need to look around to see if there's anyone there. Most pedestrians have a sixth sense.
Whilst riding along the pavement on your motorcycle if you come across a stray dog trying to get food from the rubbish bags it is fine to give it a healthy kick.
The legal driving age for motorbikes is flexible but boys can start on the roads at about age 10.
Texting and updating Facebook on the go is allowed. You only need one hand to drive a motorbike.
European's on unfamiliar motorbikes on the different side of the road from at home should just go with the flow. It's fine for your small kids to be on there with you with no protection at all. The bone setters at the local hospitals are very experienced.
Ok slight exaggeration for literary effect but not too far from the truth! But the road madness seems to work for the Thai's at least. They seem to walk around here undamaged whereas you see loads of Europeans each day with various bits of their anatomy bandaged or in plaster casts, with walking sticks or crutches.
But whilst the Thai's do seem to forget their manners whilst driving their two or four wheeled chariots at least on "dry land" they are polite. Contrast that to most Europeans. Given the bike parking situation and heavy rain creating huge puddles, it's often necessary to "give way" to another pedestrian to get by on the pavement. "Grumpy old woman alert now." Just when did virtually all Europeans forget their manners? You wait to let someone pass and they completely ignore you, no thank you let alone a simple acknowledgement - even the kids who I would have thought the schools may have taught better. It's really getting to me, unnecessarily I know, but each time it happens I say "you're welcome" as if they had actually uttered the thank you word. Childish I know but it makes me feel better. Rant over!
The dogs here continue to create contrast too. There are some very pampered, very cute dogs. There are also some definitely less than pampered ones. Even some of those with a collar on who are owned by someone can be in a state. There's this old boy I pass every day.
Looks like he's owned by the upholstery/ foam cut to size shop so there are lots of comfy places for him to rest. But he seems to prefer a dip in the pavement filled with sand. He's got such a sad little face. Then there's this little pooch, dressed in the latest Thai doggie fashion, a nice cosy padded jacket, well he might get cold it is only 30C...
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