Here we are back in Blighty after our great Thelma and Louise roadtrip. It was packed full of experiences and here is our list of recommendations if ever you follow in our footsteps...
These are in order of best first
Must Do
Record your own track at the Ryman auditorium, Nashville
Dollywood, Pigeon Forge
Dolly’s Dixie Stampede and dinner show, Pigeon Forge
Mesquite Rodeo, Dallas
Jack Daniels Distillery, Lynchburg, Tennessee
Kennedy Museum, Dallas
Southfork, Dallas
Should do:
Grand Old Opry backstage Tour, Nashville
The Elvis experience, Gracelands etc., Memphis
Civil Rights Museum, Memphis
Loveless Cafe, Tennessee
Country Music Hall of Fame, Nashville
The Stockyards, Fort Worth
Broadway in the evening for live country music, Nashville
Could do:
Dolly’s Splash Country, Pigeon Forge
Smoky Mountains and Gatlinburg, Tennessee
Beale St in the evening for live Blues music, Memphis
Mississippi Steamboat, Memphis
And as a reminder of our top two must do's, here’s the links to YouTube
First, Ant on the scariest ride of all at Dollywood
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vZ9Expas8YI
and second, the track we recorded in Nashville. You can even watch this one in HQ by clicking the HQ button at the bottom of the video. Sadly it doesn't change the quality of the voices to a higher quality.....
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OxcMhTpcKk0 beware – it’s crazy like most of our trip..........
Wednesday, 12 August 2009
Monday, 10 August 2009
The best bits..........
Best hotel - the ZaZa, worst the Days Inn Texarkana
Best meal – the rendezvous in Memphis
Worst meal – all breakfasts Vacation Lodge, Pigeon Forge
Biggest disappointment – stupid and random alcohol availability
Biggest surprise – we quite like America
Nicest person – ticket seller at the Mesquite Rodeo, and the waiter in Primo’s in Dallas
Nastiest person - Arkansas State Trooper who issued a speeding ticket
Biggest difficulty – understanding the accent and the lingo
Most ridiculous moment – cutting a track in Nashville
Most fabulous moment – feeling thin in Dollywood
Most terrifying moment (for Ant) – the Tennessee Tornado ride at Dollywood
Most terrifying moment (for Gill) - realising too late on the Dollywood logride that there was a big drop to come...
Best purchase – Ralph Lauren towels at a bargain price
Biggest failure – getting nowhere near our five a day fruit and veg
Best museum – JFK Memorial in Dallas
Tackiest purchase – Elvis snowdomes in Graceland
Biggest mistake – our new tattoos
Biggest achievement – fulfilling the dream and singing Islands in the Stream in Dolly’s lazy river – and almost getting the words right
Longest drive – Lynchburg to Memphis across country at night
Biggest liability - Gill turning left...
Biggest timesaver – being able to turn right on a red
Biggest increase – waist sizes
Biggest shrinkage – wallets
Best distress purchase – a huge bag from Walmart to pack the shopping
Best photo – us singing with hats and guitars on the stage of the Grand Old Opry
Tackiest moment - Elvis
Best meal – the rendezvous in Memphis
Worst meal – all breakfasts Vacation Lodge, Pigeon Forge
Biggest disappointment – stupid and random alcohol availability
Biggest surprise – we quite like America
Nicest person – ticket seller at the Mesquite Rodeo, and the waiter in Primo’s in Dallas
Nastiest person - Arkansas State Trooper who issued a speeding ticket
Biggest difficulty – understanding the accent and the lingo
Most ridiculous moment – cutting a track in Nashville
Most fabulous moment – feeling thin in Dollywood
Most terrifying moment (for Ant) – the Tennessee Tornado ride at Dollywood
Most terrifying moment (for Gill) - realising too late on the Dollywood logride that there was a big drop to come...
Best purchase – Ralph Lauren towels at a bargain price
Biggest failure – getting nowhere near our five a day fruit and veg
Best museum – JFK Memorial in Dallas
Tackiest purchase – Elvis snowdomes in Graceland
Biggest mistake – our new tattoos
Biggest achievement – fulfilling the dream and singing Islands in the Stream in Dolly’s lazy river – and almost getting the words right
Longest drive – Lynchburg to Memphis across country at night
Biggest liability - Gill turning left...
Biggest timesaver – being able to turn right on a red
Biggest increase – waist sizes
Biggest shrinkage – wallets
Best distress purchase – a huge bag from Walmart to pack the shopping
Best photo – us singing with hats and guitars on the stage of the Grand Old Opry
Tackiest moment - Elvis
Welcome to ZaZa (Sun Aug 9 2009)
Having done downtown, it had to be done and we decided to splurge on our last night and move from economy to luxe Dallas’ luxury hotel the ZaZa, The boutique hotel choice of Dallas’ rich and famous. Rather embarrasslngly the Lawrence hotel shulttle bus took us ther for free – but it did mean the bellhops knew where we had come from, i.e. the wrong side of the tracks
But “we’re worth it” We managed to check in early at 9.30 (not that we were desperate you understand) into our resplendent rooms of taffeta silk and gorgoeusness – felt like our first clean sheets in a fortnight – even Gill was happy to take her shoes off! This area is yuppiedom so obviously we feel at home and go to Starbucks down the road. All is quiet and we sit and blog for while. As we leave an hour later Dallas has woken up, but of course that just means more cars (lots of Porsches) and no one actually walking except us.
Back to the hotel to the pool where later on we find ourselves in some a late twenties/early 30’s socialites Sunday, who were all standing round in the pool smoking and drinking bottle after bottle of champagne. A DJ was doin’ some mixin’ on the poolside deck. We bowed to tradition and had cubes and a club sandwich – we needed to feel part of the “scene”. But the heat and booze got too much after five hours so back to the rooms for an aircon power nap. We are writing this from Primo’s to which we came this evening on the McKinney trolley (driven by someone who had had far too many pies – see photo) and have just enjoyed a texmex meal and a ‘rita or two.
London beckons...... but not until we’ve had the most expensive breakfast ever - $60 for coffee, orange juice and French toast with strawberries, cream, maple syrup and bacon – ouch!
But “we’re worth it” We managed to check in early at 9.30 (not that we were desperate you understand) into our resplendent rooms of taffeta silk and gorgoeusness – felt like our first clean sheets in a fortnight – even Gill was happy to take her shoes off! This area is yuppiedom so obviously we feel at home and go to Starbucks down the road. All is quiet and we sit and blog for while. As we leave an hour later Dallas has woken up, but of course that just means more cars (lots of Porsches) and no one actually walking except us.
Back to the hotel to the pool where later on we find ourselves in some a late twenties/early 30’s socialites Sunday, who were all standing round in the pool smoking and drinking bottle after bottle of champagne. A DJ was doin’ some mixin’ on the poolside deck. We bowed to tradition and had cubes and a club sandwich – we needed to feel part of the “scene”. But the heat and booze got too much after five hours so back to the rooms for an aircon power nap. We are writing this from Primo’s to which we came this evening on the McKinney trolley (driven by someone who had had far too many pies – see photo) and have just enjoyed a texmex meal and a ‘rita or two.
London beckons...... but not until we’ve had the most expensive breakfast ever - $60 for coffee, orange juice and French toast with strawberries, cream, maple syrup and bacon – ouch!
Child abuse in Texas (evening Sat 8 August 2009)
“You can’t let your kids go to Walmart alone, but you can tie them to the back of a wild sheep – it’s the only legal child abuse in Texas” so said the compere at the Mesquite Rodeo (yes, that was Rodeo....) that we went to tonight. The Mutton Bustin’ was one of things going on at this fabulous family event, where boys as young as three got their chance in the ring to ride a wild sheep – tiny tots hanging on for dear life dressed as cowboys..... obviously they like to start their men on the macho part of life at a young age. The girls are probably all attending Daughters of the American Revolution meetings just like Sue Ellen Ewing! Not another tourist in sight, just families out enjoying the entertainment. It didn’t start well – a prayer for the safety of the riders and “our boys out in Eye rack” followed by a rather wobbly rendition of the Stars and Stripes by Miss Texas Rodeo 2009. But things soon took a turn for the better – beers and hotdogs were our fare for the evening. We watched bareback and saddled bronco riding, bull riding, steer wrestling, team roping etc.. The cowboys competing were real and dressed in their denims and stetsons (as were most men in the audience....) and they were competing for the purse fund and a place in the finals in Las Vegas. There was a clown of sorts who filled in between events with a few rather non pc jokes and jokes about President Obama who is not a favourite down in this rather right wing part of the US – surprising really as there were hundreds of kids in the audience, but we did laugh a lot and had a great time – and neither of us can believe we are saying that, but it was a true Texas evening. It cost us $100 for the cab and $22 for the rodeo – you really do need a car!!
Ask not what your credit card can do for you, but what you can do for your credit card (Sat 8 August 2009)
This morning we wake to find our rooms are in the direct line of fire from the fifth floor window of the book depositary from where the fateful shots were fired that assassinated President Kennedy – we are in the midst of history. So we have a morning of immersing ourselves in the story. We walk across Dealy Plaza, climb the grassy knoll, and stand on the “x marks the spot” where the President’s car was when the shots hit him. Then round the museum which was done really well and told the story from him arriving at Dallas Love Field, right through to the shooting of the main suspect, Lee Harvey Oswald by Jack Ruby. It was quite chilling to look through the window where the shots were fired and see straight on to that x where Kennedy was hit. They have kept this the spot in the museum exactly as it was on the day of the assassination with the original flooring and all the boxes of school books and the open window from where he was shot. But even more chilling was glancing a little further and seeing right into each of our hotel room windows....
The mystery of who was behind the shooting still is really unsolved and the museum leaves you still asking the question – but I guess that’s Dallas for you, we still don’t know for certain who shot JR here....
But having had our fill (and really enjoying) the Kennedy history, we move on to another great historical landmark, and probably more important in the development of mankind, especially here in the US where retail is worshipped, the original Nieman Marcus store – six floors of designer heaven. There is no one in it – based here in Downtown, the store assistants tell you that when they made their way to work ten years ago they took their life in their hands. Things have calmed down somewhat since then, and young professionals are starting to move back to the city, but not fast enough. Dallas/Fort Worth Metroplex as it is called is a huge sprawling area with no real centre. It’s a giant spaghetti of roads like you’ve never seen before, all edged with malls and fast food outlets. Outer Dallas is where everyone lives – Plano in the North (near Southfork where we were yesterday) is a good example, in 1960 there were 1000 residents, now there are over 250,000 (and 70 shopping malls....) – and this pattern has been repeated in a huge ring around the two cities. Leaving of course Neiman Marcus alone in Downtown – there are no other shops. But we think the store have a sentimental attachment to this site as it was where it all started so have stayed here, and of course Sue Ellen will still get her gowns for the Oil Baron’s ball here..... Gill decided against a rather grand green evening frock in the sale a snip at $3500, but Ant managed to do a service to his credit card with a purchase – of some Nudie jeans. But we discover an even greater temple to retail is just north of the city in North Park, so off we go in a taxi – as there is no public transport to speak of. But too Gill’s credit she does spot a bus stop do get bus and train back.
The North Park mall was great, full of Dallas’ beautiful people, we shopped!! We loved the shop assistants aksing us if they could open a room for us – i.e. start loading the changing rooms for us as we collected even more to try!! Barney’s was our favourite.
The mystery of who was behind the shooting still is really unsolved and the museum leaves you still asking the question – but I guess that’s Dallas for you, we still don’t know for certain who shot JR here....
But having had our fill (and really enjoying) the Kennedy history, we move on to another great historical landmark, and probably more important in the development of mankind, especially here in the US where retail is worshipped, the original Nieman Marcus store – six floors of designer heaven. There is no one in it – based here in Downtown, the store assistants tell you that when they made their way to work ten years ago they took their life in their hands. Things have calmed down somewhat since then, and young professionals are starting to move back to the city, but not fast enough. Dallas/Fort Worth Metroplex as it is called is a huge sprawling area with no real centre. It’s a giant spaghetti of roads like you’ve never seen before, all edged with malls and fast food outlets. Outer Dallas is where everyone lives – Plano in the North (near Southfork where we were yesterday) is a good example, in 1960 there were 1000 residents, now there are over 250,000 (and 70 shopping malls....) – and this pattern has been repeated in a huge ring around the two cities. Leaving of course Neiman Marcus alone in Downtown – there are no other shops. But we think the store have a sentimental attachment to this site as it was where it all started so have stayed here, and of course Sue Ellen will still get her gowns for the Oil Baron’s ball here..... Gill decided against a rather grand green evening frock in the sale a snip at $3500, but Ant managed to do a service to his credit card with a purchase – of some Nudie jeans. But we discover an even greater temple to retail is just north of the city in North Park, so off we go in a taxi – as there is no public transport to speak of. But too Gill’s credit she does spot a bus stop do get bus and train back.
The North Park mall was great, full of Dallas’ beautiful people, we shopped!! We loved the shop assistants aksing us if they could open a room for us – i.e. start loading the changing rooms for us as we collected even more to try!! Barney’s was our favourite.
We're swellin as we speak (7 August 2009)
Burritos for breakfast with the illegals at Jack in the Box, then drove to Southfork along amazing interstates and highways, connecting like spaghetti. Southfork is smaller than on tv, but familiar as was the pool. They only used the outside for filming, all the interiors where done in a studio in LA. We amused ourselves with Sue Ellen and JR impressions and indeed admitted that with all the processed food we’d been forced to eat here in the US, we indeed are ‘swellin’ as we speak – get it? We saw Lucy’s PD wedding dress, and the actual gun used to shoot JR. We had coffee in Miss Ellie’s deli, and sat at the white wrought iron garden furniture round the pool under the yellow and white striped awnings – we were there!
Still boiling hot – 100f, so we didn’t linger. Strangely attracted to the Allen premium outlet mall – too hot to walk between shops so we drove from one to another – shocking. This is such a car society, life would be impossible without one. It is frustrating, the inability to walk anywhere – neither of us could live here, despite the huge houses on massive new developments – there would be nothing to do but drive to malls...... but on second thoughts.......
Sadly we had to drop the car back at DFW airport – which is bigger than Manhattan. We had driven 1347 miles. Sad to say goodbye to Flossy the satnav who had a habit of ‘recalculating’ at every complicated junction – leaving us lost more often than not.
We took a taxi to Dallas downtown as there was no public transport - was a ghost town, very quiet like a nuclear summer!! Mix of old building and skyscrapers, no one lives here – we met someone who had lived in Dallas for 9 years and had only been to the downtown twice!! We were staying the hotel Lawrence for three nights. Deserted and faded from its heyday in the 1920s. No-one stays downtown – but we did have rooms overlooking the JFK assassination site and our windows looked out directly at the very window where he was shot from!!
We needed a drink – so off to the hotel bar. The barman was the most miserable barman ever and said we were going to have the mist boring weekend ever in Dallas as there was nothing to do!! The problem is its size as it is massive with no real heart and you have to drive everywhere. He did give us a few recommendations.
We walked to Main Street and ate at a tex mex on Main Street – at the Iron Cactus in the open air with fans as it was in the high 90s at 10pm. The buckets of icy margaritas helped – Gill is really getting a taste for them and has even found a margarita machine that makes the perfect ‘rita’!!
Walking back to the hotel in quiet streets, empty car lots, winos and the greyhound bus station was a bit scary!
Still boiling hot – 100f, so we didn’t linger. Strangely attracted to the Allen premium outlet mall – too hot to walk between shops so we drove from one to another – shocking. This is such a car society, life would be impossible without one. It is frustrating, the inability to walk anywhere – neither of us could live here, despite the huge houses on massive new developments – there would be nothing to do but drive to malls...... but on second thoughts.......
Sadly we had to drop the car back at DFW airport – which is bigger than Manhattan. We had driven 1347 miles. Sad to say goodbye to Flossy the satnav who had a habit of ‘recalculating’ at every complicated junction – leaving us lost more often than not.
We took a taxi to Dallas downtown as there was no public transport - was a ghost town, very quiet like a nuclear summer!! Mix of old building and skyscrapers, no one lives here – we met someone who had lived in Dallas for 9 years and had only been to the downtown twice!! We were staying the hotel Lawrence for three nights. Deserted and faded from its heyday in the 1920s. No-one stays downtown – but we did have rooms overlooking the JFK assassination site and our windows looked out directly at the very window where he was shot from!!
We needed a drink – so off to the hotel bar. The barman was the most miserable barman ever and said we were going to have the mist boring weekend ever in Dallas as there was nothing to do!! The problem is its size as it is massive with no real heart and you have to drive everywhere. He did give us a few recommendations.
We walked to Main Street and ate at a tex mex on Main Street – at the Iron Cactus in the open air with fans as it was in the high 90s at 10pm. The buckets of icy margaritas helped – Gill is really getting a taste for them and has even found a margarita machine that makes the perfect ‘rita’!!
Walking back to the hotel in quiet streets, empty car lots, winos and the greyhound bus station was a bit scary!
Da da da da da da da da da, da da da da da da daaaa (Thurs 6 August 2009)
Couldn’t face another motel breakfast so on Anna Marie’s recommendation used satnav to find the nearest ihop – for pancakes. They were good – but once per trip is enough. Ant enjoyed the fact that Gill asked for senior discount as she was over 55 and they didn’t ask fro ID !!!! - Gill cried, Ant chuckled for hours.
We have become real country fans – on our CD player we were listening to Johnny Cash and various other country singers, including our favourite track “God is great, beer is good, people are crazy” by Billy Currington – listen to it. The other fantastic cd we have been listening to is one by the “Antgill Nashville Crooners” singing "Crazy", soon to be released, go platinum and is available for a large fee from this website... It will be released on youtube very shortly as soon as we can find decent wifi – we will advise. We will also advise, for Health and Safety reasons you may wish to use ear defenders, antgill crooners will take no responsibility for damaged hearing as a result of downloading this track.
We stopped at the Texan Tourist information office for ideas on what to see en route to Dallas if we avoided the interstates as we had all day to wend. They had no idea as neither of the women had ever left the intersate!! They were unenthusiastic about Paris, Texas and Sulphur Springs with no springs and so we drive directly to Dallas on Interstate 30 for about 3 hours. It was amazing, driving on the freeway and before our very eyes the Dallas skyline, so familiar from the tv programme titles appeared. There was no choice but to burst into song – now you know what today’s blog title is all about.
We sleep tonight on the other side of Dallas, the Stockyards at Fort Worth, the original cattle trading centre, and history of cowboy shootouts, including Wyatt Earp. We find rooms available at the Texas motel run by a Mexican illegal. From the noises upstairs this afternoon, we may have found ourselves in the last little whorehouse in Texas (Dolly again....) We have lunch and beer at a tex mex bar followed by shopping – Ant is strangely drawn to a pair of cowboy boots, a Stetson and a fringed suede jacket, but manages to resist. Great shopping here, everyone walks tound the store drinking beer! Harrods take note. This is followed by a much needed afternoon nod. It’s so hot here – 100 degrees at 7pm, it feels like living in a fan oven. But nothing a few more ‘rita’s can’t put right.
We are now sitting in the White Elephant Bar one of the top 100 bars in the US, drinking rita’s...., a veritable 'rita rampage, hiding from the heat and getting drunk as booze is so much cheaper here than in Tennessee – beer at $2 a pint is hard to resist. Had quesadillas and tacos for dinner at the H3 Stockyards Hotel, and enjoying the authenticity of the surroundings despite it now have been touristified even with a cattle drive twice a day!! Both of us jaded by the heat – yes even Gill – who asked for ice in her drink – a first!!
We have become real country fans – on our CD player we were listening to Johnny Cash and various other country singers, including our favourite track “God is great, beer is good, people are crazy” by Billy Currington – listen to it. The other fantastic cd we have been listening to is one by the “Antgill Nashville Crooners” singing "Crazy", soon to be released, go platinum and is available for a large fee from this website... It will be released on youtube very shortly as soon as we can find decent wifi – we will advise. We will also advise, for Health and Safety reasons you may wish to use ear defenders, antgill crooners will take no responsibility for damaged hearing as a result of downloading this track.
We stopped at the Texan Tourist information office for ideas on what to see en route to Dallas if we avoided the interstates as we had all day to wend. They had no idea as neither of the women had ever left the intersate!! They were unenthusiastic about Paris, Texas and Sulphur Springs with no springs and so we drive directly to Dallas on Interstate 30 for about 3 hours. It was amazing, driving on the freeway and before our very eyes the Dallas skyline, so familiar from the tv programme titles appeared. There was no choice but to burst into song – now you know what today’s blog title is all about.
We sleep tonight on the other side of Dallas, the Stockyards at Fort Worth, the original cattle trading centre, and history of cowboy shootouts, including Wyatt Earp. We find rooms available at the Texas motel run by a Mexican illegal. From the noises upstairs this afternoon, we may have found ourselves in the last little whorehouse in Texas (Dolly again....) We have lunch and beer at a tex mex bar followed by shopping – Ant is strangely drawn to a pair of cowboy boots, a Stetson and a fringed suede jacket, but manages to resist. Great shopping here, everyone walks tound the store drinking beer! Harrods take note. This is followed by a much needed afternoon nod. It’s so hot here – 100 degrees at 7pm, it feels like living in a fan oven. But nothing a few more ‘rita’s can’t put right.
We are now sitting in the White Elephant Bar one of the top 100 bars in the US, drinking rita’s...., a veritable 'rita rampage, hiding from the heat and getting drunk as booze is so much cheaper here than in Tennessee – beer at $2 a pint is hard to resist. Had quesadillas and tacos for dinner at the H3 Stockyards Hotel, and enjoying the authenticity of the surroundings despite it now have been touristified even with a cattle drive twice a day!! Both of us jaded by the heat – yes even Gill – who asked for ice in her drink – a first!!
Super Trooper (Wed 5 August 2009)
Yet another shockingly bad plastic breakfast before we ran away from the Heartbreak Hotel – highly unlikely ever to return!! The Elvisisation of Memphis has completley glossed over Memphis’ other claim to infamy – the assassination of Martin Luther King. So we made our pilgrimage to the national civil rights museum at the the Lorraine Motel where MLK was shot in room 306. It was a bit PC as you’d expect, but we did it. We passed the Amtrak station where Ant remembers stretching his legs on the platform when he and Kev did the US by Amtrak.
We leave Tenessese today, across the mighty Mississippi, and decided to drive on the back roads in Southern Arkansas to Tekarkana, literally right across the state.
We started out in the Mississippi delta region of Arkanas, which floods annually and is where America’s rice and cotton come from. The roads were beautiful, so smooth long and straight and encouraged driving at 86mph, until Ant sped past a state trooper who promptly turned around and followed us all lights flashing!! Oops – it was a 55 mph zone. The BDFG booked Ant, the miserable yankie b*****d, no good will come to him, him karma will be bad. Anyway a speeding ticket wasn’t going to spoil the day, so on and on and on we wended, town after town, village after village – therough the never changing landscape. We planned lunch at a diner, only to find refuge from a storm in a roadside pizza hut where the waitress was a muppet, and obviously ate all the left overs.
Heavy rain and sunshine all day and to be honest nothing to see for the 200 mile trip – except cotton, rice, beans and trees, some areas even flooded. Drove through Hope Clinton’s birthplace- no wonder he left!! But then we stumbled on another heritage site of the US, Walmart! And as this is now part of the Adsa family and was founded right here in Arkansas we had to stop. It was ginormous.... Adsa Swanley, eat your heart out. Which is exactly what the customers here seem to do. We were back in extra wide aisle territory. We of course, just bought some fruit.
Leaving all Hope (think about that one....) behind we arrived at Texarkana which had the feel of a motorwaty junction surrounded by millions of junk food places and motels. Serendipitously we found rooms at the Days Inn (rough) on the correct side of the street stateline which meant we could get alcohol, as the Texan county just across the other side of road was dry!!
We ate at the Cattlemans’ club – all wood panelling, but really a breeze block shell next to McDonalds and subway. It was next to the Days Inn but people seemed surprise that we’d walked!!
The alcohol laws in this country continue to confuse and annoy us. Depite this being a wet county, after 9pm you could only buy from a drive through rather than a liquor store. We had no pride, and as we had left the car at the motel, we we left all dignity well behind, as we went through the drive through on foot, cars in front and behind. Then we learn that after 9pm you can buy beer and alcopops but no wine or spirits – so Gill stocks up with four bottles of peachy fuzzy navels – the drink of choice in local trailer parks. Slept well in the dingy rooms.
We leave Tenessese today, across the mighty Mississippi, and decided to drive on the back roads in Southern Arkansas to Tekarkana, literally right across the state.
We started out in the Mississippi delta region of Arkanas, which floods annually and is where America’s rice and cotton come from. The roads were beautiful, so smooth long and straight and encouraged driving at 86mph, until Ant sped past a state trooper who promptly turned around and followed us all lights flashing!! Oops – it was a 55 mph zone. The BDFG booked Ant, the miserable yankie b*****d, no good will come to him, him karma will be bad. Anyway a speeding ticket wasn’t going to spoil the day, so on and on and on we wended, town after town, village after village – therough the never changing landscape. We planned lunch at a diner, only to find refuge from a storm in a roadside pizza hut where the waitress was a muppet, and obviously ate all the left overs.
Heavy rain and sunshine all day and to be honest nothing to see for the 200 mile trip – except cotton, rice, beans and trees, some areas even flooded. Drove through Hope Clinton’s birthplace- no wonder he left!! But then we stumbled on another heritage site of the US, Walmart! And as this is now part of the Adsa family and was founded right here in Arkansas we had to stop. It was ginormous.... Adsa Swanley, eat your heart out. Which is exactly what the customers here seem to do. We were back in extra wide aisle territory. We of course, just bought some fruit.
Leaving all Hope (think about that one....) behind we arrived at Texarkana which had the feel of a motorwaty junction surrounded by millions of junk food places and motels. Serendipitously we found rooms at the Days Inn (rough) on the correct side of the street stateline which meant we could get alcohol, as the Texan county just across the other side of road was dry!!
We ate at the Cattlemans’ club – all wood panelling, but really a breeze block shell next to McDonalds and subway. It was next to the Days Inn but people seemed surprise that we’d walked!!
The alcohol laws in this country continue to confuse and annoy us. Depite this being a wet county, after 9pm you could only buy from a drive through rather than a liquor store. We had no pride, and as we had left the car at the motel, we we left all dignity well behind, as we went through the drive through on foot, cars in front and behind. Then we learn that after 9pm you can buy beer and alcopops but no wine or spirits – so Gill stocks up with four bottles of peachy fuzzy navels – the drink of choice in local trailer parks. Slept well in the dingy rooms.
Saturday, 8 August 2009
"We don't just remember Elvis as we never forgot him" (Tues 4 August 2009)
Or so said the promotional material but there’s a fat chance of that in Memphis. Woke up in our Elvis rooms, with 24 hours Elvis films and biopics on the TV, overlooking the heart shaped pool! Had the breakfast from hell, polystyrene plates, plastic forks, plastic food – yummy – living the American Dream!! Elvis radio playing in the communal areas and in the hotel car park, directly streamed from Elvis radio which we can get at home on our computers – something to really look forward to.....
Gracelands, Elvis’ home was across the car park and on the opposite side of the busy road – we’d thought it would be somewhere nice, but it is surrounded by tack. But to be fair when he lived here all those years ago it was probably surrounded by countryside which has now turned into the long busy neon strip with all things Elvis that it is today.
We take the Elvis bus across the road as no-one walks here and up the drive to Graceland, everyone else was hushed – it was semi religious – we, on the other hand, were out for a laugh!! The house is Palladian pillars, ante bellum on a Woking scale – so quite modest really. Through the doors, with our headphones on and the self guided trip around the living room, parents’ bedroom, dining room, cinema, billiard room, jungle room. No upstairs visit as this was private!! - but disappointing. The decor is unspeakable – see photos – we kept gasping with distaste and met a few Californians of a similar opinion. The gardens behind had stables , horses, racquet ball courts and a museum with lots of his jump suits – he obviously didn’t understand less is more!!
Elvis is buried next to his pool – nice! People were leaving candles and gifts, we filed past taking illicit videos!
The trip ended with visits to see his cars and to walk through his planes - one of which was called the Lisa Marie. We were fed up to the back teeth with Elvis by lunchtime. So we entertained ourselves with the search for the tackiest souvenir – and boy was a there a choice!
So what else has Memphis to offer? We thought we’d go native and take a local bus downtown. We waited in the oppressive heat for 50 minutes for the bus to arrive and when it didi– well what can we say about our fellow travellers? Let’s just say underclass and leave it there. Gill even had to give up her seat for an 80 years old man with a portable disco! He later got thrown off the bus – but the accents were so think that Gill and I had no ideas why? The areas around downtown were really poor, full of pawn shops and boarded up buildings – this is such a country of contrast. This was the first real poverty we’d seen and of course it was the black communities who were living like this.
Downtown Memphis was surprisingly small, they are obviously trying to re-generate the city centre with limited results so far. We set off to the Mississippi River, for a paddle boat afternoon cruise – the rust bucket served nachos and plastic cheese, was falling to bits as we floated down river under the enormous bridges that crossed to Arkansas. The 1.5 hours passed slowly!!!
You can tell that Memphis has been through rough times and has no soul, only blues - actually that’s not true as it has both musically. Our journey has seen the local music change and here it is clearly blues with soul mixed in and a bit of rock ‘n roll.
We found the Peabody Mall to hide from the heat, but it was horrid, so after a quick Starbucks we took a taxi back to the hotel, for a quick turnaround, following our first afternoon nap of the trip (there hasn’t been time so far!) and out again and back to downtown Memphis on the Elvis Express Shuttle bus – yes they did play us Elvis. We got off at Beale Street – a short street of happening music bars and drinking dens, and we enjoyed a few drinks listening to Blues.
Lonely Planet had recommended the great ribs at Rendevous , a Memphis institution for dry ribs, they serve five tonnes of ribs a week. It was very good and we enjoyed it enormously. The evening ended pleasantly enough listening to more live music blues in the warm evening. The Elvis express shuttle took us home to Lonely Street and the Heartbreak Hotel. By now we are both ready to move on.
Gracelands, Elvis’ home was across the car park and on the opposite side of the busy road – we’d thought it would be somewhere nice, but it is surrounded by tack. But to be fair when he lived here all those years ago it was probably surrounded by countryside which has now turned into the long busy neon strip with all things Elvis that it is today.
We take the Elvis bus across the road as no-one walks here and up the drive to Graceland, everyone else was hushed – it was semi religious – we, on the other hand, were out for a laugh!! The house is Palladian pillars, ante bellum on a Woking scale – so quite modest really. Through the doors, with our headphones on and the self guided trip around the living room, parents’ bedroom, dining room, cinema, billiard room, jungle room. No upstairs visit as this was private!! - but disappointing. The decor is unspeakable – see photos – we kept gasping with distaste and met a few Californians of a similar opinion. The gardens behind had stables , horses, racquet ball courts and a museum with lots of his jump suits – he obviously didn’t understand less is more!!
Elvis is buried next to his pool – nice! People were leaving candles and gifts, we filed past taking illicit videos!
The trip ended with visits to see his cars and to walk through his planes - one of which was called the Lisa Marie. We were fed up to the back teeth with Elvis by lunchtime. So we entertained ourselves with the search for the tackiest souvenir – and boy was a there a choice!
So what else has Memphis to offer? We thought we’d go native and take a local bus downtown. We waited in the oppressive heat for 50 minutes for the bus to arrive and when it didi– well what can we say about our fellow travellers? Let’s just say underclass and leave it there. Gill even had to give up her seat for an 80 years old man with a portable disco! He later got thrown off the bus – but the accents were so think that Gill and I had no ideas why? The areas around downtown were really poor, full of pawn shops and boarded up buildings – this is such a country of contrast. This was the first real poverty we’d seen and of course it was the black communities who were living like this.
Downtown Memphis was surprisingly small, they are obviously trying to re-generate the city centre with limited results so far. We set off to the Mississippi River, for a paddle boat afternoon cruise – the rust bucket served nachos and plastic cheese, was falling to bits as we floated down river under the enormous bridges that crossed to Arkansas. The 1.5 hours passed slowly!!!
You can tell that Memphis has been through rough times and has no soul, only blues - actually that’s not true as it has both musically. Our journey has seen the local music change and here it is clearly blues with soul mixed in and a bit of rock ‘n roll.
We found the Peabody Mall to hide from the heat, but it was horrid, so after a quick Starbucks we took a taxi back to the hotel, for a quick turnaround, following our first afternoon nap of the trip (there hasn’t been time so far!) and out again and back to downtown Memphis on the Elvis Express Shuttle bus – yes they did play us Elvis. We got off at Beale Street – a short street of happening music bars and drinking dens, and we enjoyed a few drinks listening to Blues.
Lonely Planet had recommended the great ribs at Rendevous , a Memphis institution for dry ribs, they serve five tonnes of ribs a week. It was very good and we enjoyed it enormously. The evening ended pleasantly enough listening to more live music blues in the warm evening. The Elvis express shuttle took us home to Lonely Street and the Heartbreak Hotel. By now we are both ready to move on.
"We're here to make a record" - we never thought we'd say that.. (Mon 3 August 2009)
We are surprisingly nervous as we drove downtown to the Ryman to cut a track. The Ryman is a previous home of the Grand Old Opry and still has concerts there in the winter. Final rehearsals didn’t go well in the car – so we were apprehensive as we approached the front desk and said those immortal words – “we’re here to make a record!”
The recording studio had a panoramic view of the auditorium which only made things worse. The sound engineer put us at our ease and with headphones on and a microphone each – we did a dry run – shockingly bad, before we cut our track!!! Which is amazing and soon to be released.
We then hoofed it to Nashville’s Country Music Hall of fame, which has adopted all the famous country stars and has relics from each of them. Quite fun, especially as Gill was taken back to family parties and could sing along to many – then it hit her she was in a museum, ergo things are old, but the music was current when she was a little child at said parties.... Elivs’s gold Cadillac was worth seeing – a taste of Memphis to come we fear.
Today was going to be a hell of a drive and so to set us up we headed off 30 miles in the wrong direction for lunch. The Loveless cafe is famous for its Southern deep fried chicken and was heaving at 12.30. The chicken was huge bit was very good – served in down home southern style.
Our schlep cross country in the opposite direction continued as we headed deep into Southern Tennesse back roads to Lynchburg, the home of Jack Daniels and the source of inspiration for a 1000 tube posters. Tiny small towns with a courthouse in the centre and small western style shops all around. The whole of Tennesse is beautifully manicured and this area is no different. We stopped at a hamlet reminiscent of “back to the future” and a kindly man came over to offer help. This is the back of beyond and is another one of Ant’s mad ideas!
Lynchburg has been making Jack’s for 150 odd years, all of it coming from a spring in the garden of the distillery. The tour was interesting and folksy – only 14 people make all the Jacks. However, as it was a dry county we couldn’t even get a taste!!!
We didn’t want to leave but at 5pm it was finally time to start driving in the direction we originally intended and the six hour drive along back roads to Memphis. Empty smooth roads, very green trees and grass, beautifully manicured but a hell of a long way. It was dark for the last 2.5 hours which made it boring, but we sang along to the country radio station and listened to our own track more often than is healthy!!
Arrive at Heartbreak Hotel in Memphis gagging for a Jack Daniels. Just made it and started to absorb the international ambience and high tack, slightly grubby campness of the hotel. WT’s everywhere, worn carpet, Elvis posters and as tacky as you would imagine – what will tomorrow hold?
The recording studio had a panoramic view of the auditorium which only made things worse. The sound engineer put us at our ease and with headphones on and a microphone each – we did a dry run – shockingly bad, before we cut our track!!! Which is amazing and soon to be released.
We then hoofed it to Nashville’s Country Music Hall of fame, which has adopted all the famous country stars and has relics from each of them. Quite fun, especially as Gill was taken back to family parties and could sing along to many – then it hit her she was in a museum, ergo things are old, but the music was current when she was a little child at said parties.... Elivs’s gold Cadillac was worth seeing – a taste of Memphis to come we fear.
Today was going to be a hell of a drive and so to set us up we headed off 30 miles in the wrong direction for lunch. The Loveless cafe is famous for its Southern deep fried chicken and was heaving at 12.30. The chicken was huge bit was very good – served in down home southern style.
Our schlep cross country in the opposite direction continued as we headed deep into Southern Tennesse back roads to Lynchburg, the home of Jack Daniels and the source of inspiration for a 1000 tube posters. Tiny small towns with a courthouse in the centre and small western style shops all around. The whole of Tennesse is beautifully manicured and this area is no different. We stopped at a hamlet reminiscent of “back to the future” and a kindly man came over to offer help. This is the back of beyond and is another one of Ant’s mad ideas!
Lynchburg has been making Jack’s for 150 odd years, all of it coming from a spring in the garden of the distillery. The tour was interesting and folksy – only 14 people make all the Jacks. However, as it was a dry county we couldn’t even get a taste!!!
We didn’t want to leave but at 5pm it was finally time to start driving in the direction we originally intended and the six hour drive along back roads to Memphis. Empty smooth roads, very green trees and grass, beautifully manicured but a hell of a long way. It was dark for the last 2.5 hours which made it boring, but we sang along to the country radio station and listened to our own track more often than is healthy!!
Arrive at Heartbreak Hotel in Memphis gagging for a Jack Daniels. Just made it and started to absorb the international ambience and high tack, slightly grubby campness of the hotel. WT’s everywhere, worn carpet, Elvis posters and as tacky as you would imagine – what will tomorrow hold?
Friday, 7 August 2009
"Hello Nashville" from the stage of the Grand Old Opry (Sun 2 Aug 2009)
Having paid homage to Dolly, today we hit the interstate to continue our Thelma and Louise trip and music and tv pilgrimage and head for Nashville. We have heard lots of Blue Grass music in the Smoky’s and now head for the home of country music. We arrived early and head for the Grand Old Opry. We discover however that you are never far from a mall in the States and pop into the adjoining Opry Mills Mall for some retail therapy. Then on to the big one, the Grand Old Opry herself. This is where it all started and all country performers have stood on this stage and sung their hearts out – as did we! We took the tour where you go backstage and see all the dressing rooms etc – it was fascinating to learn all the history. But joy of joys, you can stand right there on the stage where all the performers stand and look right out at the audience seating. We just had to do a quick practice (quietly...) of “Crazy” whilst the rest of the tour group where listening to the guide. So we have sung where the country music greats have – from Dolly to Patsy Kline to Johnny Cash and hundreds more. What an experience. You can see a pic of us in our sophisticated costumes attached.....
We are getting a little nervous this evening as we are laying down our track in the Nashville recording studio tomorrow morning so we decide we need to head to the downtown music area to get more of a feel for country music to help prepare ourselves. Broadway is the old Victorian area we headed for where we had a not very good dinner sitting on the roof of a bar and some very good drinks sitting in some bars later listening to live country music.
We also resisted shopping for cowboy/girl boots and the offer of buy one pair get two free.....
Nashville downtown is unexpectedly small, how do Keith Urban and Nicole Kidman survive here? We had a great night and now psyched up and ready to record tomorrow.
We are getting a little nervous this evening as we are laying down our track in the Nashville recording studio tomorrow morning so we decide we need to head to the downtown music area to get more of a feel for country music to help prepare ourselves. Broadway is the old Victorian area we headed for where we had a not very good dinner sitting on the roof of a bar and some very good drinks sitting in some bars later listening to live country music.
We also resisted shopping for cowboy/girl boots and the offer of buy one pair get two free.....
Nashville downtown is unexpectedly small, how do Keith Urban and Nicole Kidman survive here? We had a great night and now psyched up and ready to record tomorrow.
Islands in the Stream (Sat 1 August 2009)
Our big day !! The sun was out and Dolly’s Splash Country beckoned and the original purpose of the trip was imminent. Yes we did it!! We sang Islands in the Stream as we floated around the lazy river in lime green rubber rings, in homage to Dolly and Graham Norton. The park was heaving with WT, but we had booked our own little private canopy so could retire to restore energy. Sad to say that we didn’t bother to do any other of the rides as the queues were too long and we couldn’t be bothered to wait. Our eating odyssey continued though as we munched out way through chilli cheese fries, pulled pork, smokehouse beans, Doritos, giant cokes etc etc – this is so disgusting Gill is desperate for something that doesn’t taste of BBQ sauce!!
Pigeon Forge is known for its outlet shopping malls and so this is where we headed for the early evening. It turned into a marathon shopping trip which we enjoyed immensely. Many purchases were made and this time not of the tacky souvenir variety!! We returned (withID) to the Teaxs Grill for an 80’s evening with loads of Michael Jackson music. We ate at the bar surrounded by tv screens of USA sport, listening to 80s rock bands, eating steaks and ribs. Chatty barmaids made the evening so much fun. Staggered home down the parkway again!! Dolly and the Smokys have been great – sad to leave tomorrow. Nashville beckons and we do have that track to lay down ...........................
Pigeon Forge is known for its outlet shopping malls and so this is where we headed for the early evening. It turned into a marathon shopping trip which we enjoyed immensely. Many purchases were made and this time not of the tacky souvenir variety!! We returned (withID) to the Teaxs Grill for an 80’s evening with loads of Michael Jackson music. We ate at the bar surrounded by tv screens of USA sport, listening to 80s rock bands, eating steaks and ribs. Chatty barmaids made the evening so much fun. Staggered home down the parkway again!! Dolly and the Smokys have been great – sad to leave tomorrow. Nashville beckons and we do have that track to lay down ...........................
Huge rain changes plans (Fri 31 July 2009)
The weather today was so bad that Dollywood Splash Country is closed. We booked these tickets three months ago and it is the only day in three years that this has happened – but it was good really as we hadn’t perfected our song any way. So we collect our hire car – a nice big SUV gas guzzler and set off for the smoky mountains singing “Islands in the Stream” at every opportunity. We go to the town of Gatlinburg, the gateway to the Smoky mountains. Good news, this is in another county which is not dry and stock up on wine at the liquor store to take back to our motel just in case... The mountains are beautiful with roads winding through the forested slopes. We stop to take in the view where Ant decides to do a mountain top practice of our song like some latter day rock n roll version of Julie Andrews. Not sure the two bikers who arrived at the viewpoint without us realising quite knew how to take it!
The day culminated in the apotheosis of Dolly at her Dixie Stampede – the best dinner show in town..... where, whilst we guzzled, cutlery free – veg soup (well white powder with water) a biscuit, baked potato, an ear of corn, a pork loin and to top it all a whole chicken – and that was each! Followed by an apple pie – accompanied by as much tea (as in iced – we are getting withdrawal symptoms from English breakfast) coffee or Pepsi as you can drink. It was the set meal by the way, we didn’t choose all that from the menu.... You will begin to understand why we began to feel anorexic yesterday!
The Dixie stampede was horse of the year show meets gymkhana meets rodeo meets the American civil war and despite the lack of alcohol we are both embarrassed to say we loved it! Ant was even standing up and cheering ..... We have added to our tacky souvenir collection by keeping the “souvenir boot”, a classical piece in white plastic that our pre show, non alcoholic cocktail was served in.
But the lack of alcohol kicked in so we popped in to the Texas Grill for a glass of vino after the non alcoholic show. This is one of only two places within a three mile radius that we have found that serves wine – or indeed any alcohol at all. Gill was fine, but our Achilles heel was Ant – who did not carry ID so couldn’t prove he was over 21 (this is Gill, I thought it was obvious.....). We were refused service and reduced to drinking our emergency rations, sat outside our rooms on the Pigeon Forge Parkway purchased earlier in Gatlinburg. Stylish eh?
The day culminated in the apotheosis of Dolly at her Dixie Stampede – the best dinner show in town..... where, whilst we guzzled, cutlery free – veg soup (well white powder with water) a biscuit, baked potato, an ear of corn, a pork loin and to top it all a whole chicken – and that was each! Followed by an apple pie – accompanied by as much tea (as in iced – we are getting withdrawal symptoms from English breakfast) coffee or Pepsi as you can drink. It was the set meal by the way, we didn’t choose all that from the menu.... You will begin to understand why we began to feel anorexic yesterday!
The Dixie stampede was horse of the year show meets gymkhana meets rodeo meets the American civil war and despite the lack of alcohol we are both embarrassed to say we loved it! Ant was even standing up and cheering ..... We have added to our tacky souvenir collection by keeping the “souvenir boot”, a classical piece in white plastic that our pre show, non alcoholic cocktail was served in.
But the lack of alcohol kicked in so we popped in to the Texas Grill for a glass of vino after the non alcoholic show. This is one of only two places within a three mile radius that we have found that serves wine – or indeed any alcohol at all. Gill was fine, but our Achilles heel was Ant – who did not carry ID so couldn’t prove he was over 21 (this is Gill, I thought it was obvious.....). We were refused service and reduced to drinking our emergency rations, sat outside our rooms on the Pigeon Forge Parkway purchased earlier in Gatlinburg. Stylish eh?
Nashville's not till Sunday (evening Thurs 30 July 2008)
Not only is Dollywood alcohol free, but we discover that our usual alcohol issues continue to dog our steps around the world. Much to our horror, disbelief and frustration we discover a county ordinance prohibits sale of liquor above 20% proof. The local hostellers have taken this to heart – we should have spotted there no adverts for beer anywhere or any bars...... But we cannot believe this so start our own investigations – but no luck – restaurant after restaurant with no booze – we find one that sells beer but nothing else. We ask in one and the waitress directs us to TGI Fridays just down the road. Sadly in this town where no one walks “Just down the road” turns out to be miles..... We finally arrive on foot to find they actually sell wine – we had been without alcohol for so long we almost prostrate ourselves on the floor with pleasure. We are seated by our kindly host and take a glass each. But we needed it – we had a job to do. One of our tasks on this trip is to recreate that famous Dolly and Graham Norton song “Islands in the Stream” whilst floating around the lazy river in Dolly’s Splash Country water Park tomorrow. But we have to learn the words – we set to our task, but frankly are not very good. Another glass of wine later and we still can’t get it right – singing as quietly as we can but dissolving into hysterical giggles every few minutes. Another task we have set ourselves is to record a track when we are in Nashville – we are going to record “Crazy” the Patsy Cline classic (leading to Ant now calling me Miss D Cline.... think about it....) and have to learn that too. I remind Ant that he has to learn this too when he tells me to stop putting pressure on him as “Nashville’s not till Sunday”
Two anorexics visit Dollywood (Thurs 30 July 2009)
Dolly’s intervention continued, a miracle occurred – compared to everyone else we were tiny – fab! But more of that later... We wake up to find our motel is on the dual carriageway in Pigeon Forge which is Dolly’s birthplace and which is now a homage to the wonderful woman that she is. A deluxe breakfast is included in our motel rate – so we repair to the breakfast room via housekeeping up the ramp to a small windowless room heaving with huge people eating doughnuts and biscuits and gravy – gross. The “gravy” looks like white wallpaper paste. We saw it being made by pouring white powder into water and then popping it in the microwave – we declined the offer of us trying this traditional southern breakfast as we retched our way out. On a plus side, the doughnuts are Krispy Cremes as sold in Harrods!
Our first pilgrimage was to Dollywood. We must have been the first people ever to walk there – there are no pavements here! We could have got the dolly trolley bus but decided to walk. It was an inauspicious start – we went to the wrong entrance (so we actually arrived via Dolly’s very moist back passage which made us giggle – again!) – the whole place looked small and poky and very worn out. We later discovered that it was meant to be like that – a re-creation of her Smoky mountain home – and in reality it was much bigger than at first glance. It’s a theme park with a shopping opportunity on every corner – we had a great time, we laughed, we did daft things, we rode mad rides (but as you would expect only Ant did the really scary ones, including the massively scary Tenessee Tornado, which was a corkscrew big dipper and he went upside down twice!! ) we ate funnel cake, turnip greens, pinto beans. We even tried to shop but apart from a Dolly poncho for Gill and a Dollywood hoodie for Ant, pickings were thin – unlike the people. We have never seen such a collection of grossly overweight people in any one place before – it was a real “close your mouth dear” day as our jaws were constantly dropping to the floor.
We saw two shows in the theatres including a number of Dolly’s relatives on banjos and guitars. One of our favourites was the coat of many colours - as in the famous song – it was really cute, but Gill felt that Dolly’s mum could have done better on the buttonhole stitching. We went for a (real) steam train ride through the mountains and got wet not just from the rain, but also the scary log ride and the white water rafting! Suddenly we realised we had been there for nine hours and had had a ball - and all this without alcoholic assistance – both guns and alcohol are prohibited in the park. Is enjoying this a sign old age?
Our first pilgrimage was to Dollywood. We must have been the first people ever to walk there – there are no pavements here! We could have got the dolly trolley bus but decided to walk. It was an inauspicious start – we went to the wrong entrance (so we actually arrived via Dolly’s very moist back passage which made us giggle – again!) – the whole place looked small and poky and very worn out. We later discovered that it was meant to be like that – a re-creation of her Smoky mountain home – and in reality it was much bigger than at first glance. It’s a theme park with a shopping opportunity on every corner – we had a great time, we laughed, we did daft things, we rode mad rides (but as you would expect only Ant did the really scary ones, including the massively scary Tenessee Tornado, which was a corkscrew big dipper and he went upside down twice!! ) we ate funnel cake, turnip greens, pinto beans. We even tried to shop but apart from a Dolly poncho for Gill and a Dollywood hoodie for Ant, pickings were thin – unlike the people. We have never seen such a collection of grossly overweight people in any one place before – it was a real “close your mouth dear” day as our jaws were constantly dropping to the floor.
We saw two shows in the theatres including a number of Dolly’s relatives on banjos and guitars. One of our favourites was the coat of many colours - as in the famous song – it was really cute, but Gill felt that Dolly’s mum could have done better on the buttonhole stitching. We went for a (real) steam train ride through the mountains and got wet not just from the rain, but also the scary log ride and the white water rafting! Suddenly we realised we had been there for nine hours and had had a ball - and all this without alcoholic assistance – both guns and alcohol are prohibited in the park. Is enjoying this a sign old age?
Dolly's intervention (Weds 29 July 2009)
This was Derek’s response to us getting upgraded on BA to 1st on the flight to Dallas – is Dolly the new Amma and is she working her magic? Perhaps so as Dolly was our inspiration for this trip. About six years ago the three of us were watching Graham Norton singing “Islands in the Stream” with Dolly in her Splash Country Water Park lazy river and this ridiculous trip was born – she was obviously easing our way by being there from the start. It was a long schlep, 21.5 hours door to door and went from the sublime to the ridiculous – from the BA Concorde lounge in T5 to BA 1st, to a small narrow jet through the thunderstorms to Knoxville, and into a taxi driven by a redneck into a no star motel on the southern end of the Parkway in Pigeon Forge, East Tennesse with trailer trash kids screeching in the pool at midnight. Welcome to Dollywood country.
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