Days to watch for falling coconuts... (26 - 30 December 2011)

OK global warming, enough already! Come to Phuket in December and January the brochures exhort, for calm seas and calm days.  The wind from yesterday continued all night and sleep was difficult due to the noise, not just of the wind but all the banging.  And by that I mean signs, chairs and falling coconuts rather than any other kind you may feel I meant!

The news is full of the unusual conditions for this time of year. "September in December" is one headline.  And at Hua Hin there is some damage due to the high waves and the beachfront is closed till the winds abate, hopefully in a day or two.

Big waves in Karon - well bigger than they should be....

The poor poolman has quite a job this morning as it's full of leaves and bits and chairs blowing around at breakfast.  But no so bad that I couldn't take a beach walk this morning.  But note to self, let the Soltan dry before you go out on such a windy day.  My legs now resemble sandpaper as the fine sand sticks really well.  I could file my nails on them...

OK, it doesn't look that dramatic, but it's a big branch broken by the wind...

Time for a skinny decaf.  Took a look at the mince pies, but couldn't bring myself to try one, after seeing Ant's yesterday, somehow they just didn't look right! 

Nearest thing to a mincie I could find....

And a walk round the market to the cheery morning chorus of "goo mornee, you lookee my shop, mornee pry" ringing out from stall to stall as I pass.  But still not sure I can forgive them yet for the 4XL episode....

And an evening in front of the telly, good old Slingbox did its bit and I managed to catch up with Downton Abbey, albeit in several chunks as the internet was on and off, along with flickering power. But the power stayed on, unlike some parts of Phuket.  The high winds seemed worse tonight, and again sleep interrupted.  At one point I thought someone was trying to get in the room as the slightly loose door was banging loudly with each gust of wind, frightened the life out of me...

But in between windy bits there is still some calm and sunshine, and time for a non Thai tea for a change, Shepherd's Pie in the Irish Bar, and I am even contemplating Sunday lunch there, seems I haven't got over my lack of a proper Xmas dinner....

So the days here gently blend into one, a beachy walk in the mornings when it's not too hot, a hopeful look in the markets for something different - never fulfilled, a stop for a decent coffee at the Movenpik then wander back to the hotel for a bit of reading while the shade is there by my pool, then retreat out of the hot sun and do a bit of my sewing, my picture of Battersea Park is coming along slowly.... And the big decision each evening as to where to eat.  It's nice to see loyalty rewarded, at the Little Mermaid a couple of nights ago instead of the usual mint, I got a tiny china elephant "for good customers and good luck for the new year", how nice.  

My tiny new elly.....

After dinner another wander through the crowded, noisy streets where families and couples all take in the evening. I admire the amazing displays of all kinds of fish and seafood in little wooden boats on ice ready to be weighed before cooking and take in the smells of a Thai evening, barbecueing food, citronella, the tang of the sea and of course, the drains....

A Phuket sunset....

And it's all happening in Karon now, a big roped off village complete with huge stages and lots of stalls appeared on the beach, where a two day DJ festival is on culminating in the countdown to 2012.  The music is pretty loud and given the number of very loud fireworks here on a normal evening, it should be quite a loud night...

And then back to my room to sit outside in the warm evening catching up on the telly! A new series of "Banged Up Abrod" to catch up on - lets just hope that that stays in the realms of the TV, I know everyone supposedly wants their 15 minutes of fame, but perhaps not on that show... The wifi at the hotel, apart fom a few glitches when the power is a bit iffy, is amazing, so fast at about 20 mps, making facetimes to Wales so good, I feel I am there (hello Dyl...). And then talking to the girls in Southern California, some 15 hours behind me. Magic!

What a lovely Xmas day (25 December 2011)

Breakfast in the sunshine and then a tuk tuk into Patong to meet up with Grant, Corina, Charlotte and Jonathon.  I shared the ride to Patong with three Norwegians (no "nil points jokes please....) and in the usual conversations about "where are you from " they said they knew I was English because I looked it.  I wonder why that is? Is it the beautiful English rose complexion, the cheap Primark clothes or the fact that I am never far from a why why - answers on a postcard please....

Xmas  lunch

Grant, Corina, Jonathon and Charlotte are here on their S E Asia cruise on the posh Legend of the Seas.  They were off on an elephant safari for the morning and really enjoyed it, but were in need of food when we met up after their early start.  So into the Jungceylon Centre for a great Thai lunch, followed by a trip to my shopping stop place for another why why and free wifi.  We skyped Ken and Ann back in the UK but the wind here is so strong today that it was hard to hear anything over it.  Their ship is moored out in the bay, but the wind is so bad that they couldn't use the usual tenders to get in and out... All I can say is I'm glad I am not joining them on their trip to Phi Phi Island tomorrow, it might be a rough ride...  Then off down the Bangla Road to see the "sights" with Grant trying to spot who was a lady boy and who wasn't! And a lesson in why not to be too soft when it comes to "street kids".  A really cute tiny Thai child approached Corina to buy a garland of flowers for £2. She is a bit of a softie, but couldn't buy them as nothing like that is allowed back on the ship.  The child turned on the tears stroking Corina's arm.  When she finally realised it was no sale, the child hardened her eyes and she spat out "f**k off then".  Her English was better than we gave her credit for!

But like Cinderellas they needed to get back on board for dinner, as the ship keeps time at one hour ahead of Thailand.  

So now as you all struggle to fit large turkeys into small ovens, I sit by the pool, enjoying the warm evening and watching the palms bending over almost double in the wind.  I got a text from them later to say they managed, due to their VIP staus to jump the four hour queue to get back on board due to the terrible conditions, they were soaked when they got back, and no food available on the ship as a lot of the staff were stranded ashore!  And their trip to Phi Phi tomorrow is cancelled due to the weather.

Facetime to  facetime,, Thailand  to  Wales

So I have a Xmas evening spent with friends too.  The miracles of Facetime take me to Gothic Villa to spend time with Ant, David and the Dyl.  So clever is it that I felt I could actually smell the turkey cooking and am still salivating over their taunting of me with a good champagne and Ant's home made mince pies.  Now a Pad Thai is all very well, but at this moment, I think I would sell my soul for a good English Xmas lunch in a cosy cottage in Wales with them. Then transported to Twickenham, to see Mum, Christine, the Harvey's and Totes, whose new nickname I gather is Roy as in short for royalty, that fits!  Looks like a good time was being had by all.  But now I regret the seven hour time difference as it would be lovely to settle down now and watch Downton Abbey with the rest of the nation, but hopefully Slingbox is still working and I can look forward to that on Boxing Day!

No room at the inn... (24 December 2011)

The nearest we are getting to a white Xmas here is the carpet of frangipani flowers all over the decking that get knocked off the trees by the odd heavy downpour... With all the non Brit Europeans here, Xmas Eve is the big day, and every hotel (apart from here thank goodness) has a poster outside advertising their gala dinner. And everyone around the pool was sporting their Santa hats today and wishing everyone happy xmas.  I had to double check the calendar to see I hadn't lost a day...  So with all their celebrating done today, looks like I'll be a solo Santa hat wearing sunbather tomorrow! But today, with all my Xmas shopping done yesterday, no last minute stuff for me, just a leisurely walk along the beach this morning and a lazy afternoon by the pool, with the odd tech problem thrown in. Why is iTunes so difficult?   All I want to do is transfer music from the iPad to the iTouch, but it does not go smoothly. And I hate Windows, why does it always play up.  OK Ant, I know, I should go the total Mac route....

So tonight's the night here in Karon.  All the "girls" are dressed in red and Santa hats. According to the Danes next door, the tradition for most people here is a big evening meal followed by presents - explains all the kids about tonight in their new clothes and up rather too late for my liking....

But no room at my favourite inn tonight, I arrive to find it closed for a Xmas Eve dinner booking. So round the corner to another place that looked nice.  Not one of my more successful meals - well, the green curry was really good, but a disaster on the why why front.  It's blowing a real gale here tonight, and at one point something heavy landed on the bamboo roof above me and dropped a pile of detritus right into my why why... Looking back of course it could have landed on me, but at the time...

Nothing for it but to give up and wander back to the peace of the hotel.  The walk back was somewhat bizarre, nearly getting knocked over in the wind, "O Little Town of Bethlehem" in tinkly Thai voices and language streaming out from a hotel's gala dinner, Thai's wishing everyone "Happy Xmas" and sounding exactly like (for those of you were privileged enough to hear it), Kev's very funny impression of the old Pope's Xmas message. And feeling like walking through downtown Baghdad as the fireworks are going off left, right and centre.  And when I finally get back a young guy and what looked like his Xmas present to himself in the form of a Thai girl, getting to know each other rather intimately on their balcony as I walked past!

Happy Xmas everyone, have a lovely day. xxx

Am with you in spirit... (23 December 2011)

And by that I don't mean a large gin... well perhaps a small why why whilst shopping!  So today is a huge shopping day, the last full day before Xmas, so the BBC keep telling me so thought I ought to do the right thing and join in.  But not a sprout in sight... there may have been no sprouts, but lots of apples... Well an apple store at least.  My iPod touch is so old now that I couldn't even pair bluetooth headphones to it, so it was time for a tech fix.  As usual these things are so much cheaper outside the UK and have just saved myself £85 (25%), and from a proper shop so it is not a fake.  Not too sure about the rather fetching LV cover I bought to go with it (from a different shop, I hasten to add....) Am now the proud owner of a nice white 64G one but of course now have to face the tech trials of iTunes and transferring data - perhaps I will need to join you in a little Xmas spirit to get that sorted... Wish me luck....

Do you think Louis would approve.....

But I am also pleased to say that my Thai language skills have come to the fore yet again, this time translating Russian English into Thai English. In the apple store the Russian customer and Thai shop assistant were having communication issues, so I decided to play the good samaritan and step in to help, it is Xmas after all and goodwill to all men and all that.... I was amazed, I translated the shop assistant's Thai English into English the Russian customer could understand and then the Russian English back to the shop assistant in Thai English. Result, perfect communication, I can see a business opportunity here. And you thought my skills were limited to why why and stee rye!  But sadly the Russian, reinforcing the national stereotype, didn't bother to say thankyou either to me or to the guy behind the counter who helped him... No goodwill to all men there it seems....

Dinner in town tonight and a lot busier, it seems the Xmas spirit is alive and well. Two Westerners in a drunken brawl being separated by two tiny Thai girls.  And an amusing spirited argument in the restaurant at a table of four German men and one Thai girl.  She was really sticking to her guns, and all seemed resolved by one of them nipping off to the cash point for more money - go girl!

Yes, you do have big bum.... (17 - 21 December 2011)

Well the skinny lattes didn't work then.  In the market wandering past the stalls, I tried to put the persistent stallholders off by saying that all their stuff was too small (true).  Have tried everything else to escape them, even using Ant and my Russian "Nyet" doesn't work here as it does elsewhere, given the clientele they all have a Russian sales patter! "No, no", she said, "we have to fit you", proferring a bikini and stretching it out so far you could hear the threads creaking. I put it against me and there was no way.  "Yes", she said looking me up and down, "you have big bum but we have extra large, fit you" and dragged me over to their equivalent Evans outsize department! And yes, their 4XL might just go round..... How depressing, and I might have to give them some tips on successful selling.  But having said that, I'm sure a Thai 4XL is really a size zero....

But undeterred, I sit typing this whilst enjoying another skinny latte and I notice they also sell mince pies.  They don't quite look like the mincies that I know and love, but any port in a storm may mean that this is the place for Xmas breakfast.  And talking of food, I tried the best Thai restaurant in Karon, enjoyed the prawns and even survived the salad bar, something I am wary of even in the UK. The only odd thing about the place was the name - The Vitaporn - perhaps viagra in the rice - run very efficiently by a Thai matriarch and her never ending successsion of sons.  Perhaps there is something in that rice after all!

Viagra salad anyone?

Tuk tuk inflation has really hit here.  They don't have the communal songtheaws that are all over Koh Samui that you can hop on and off and go anywhere for a few baht. The only choice here to get to Patong is to hire one yourself, and at over £12 (and that's bargaining them down to rock bottom) for the short return journey of 6kms each way almost rivals London cab fares.  I could walk despite the huge hill, but the road is really busy with coaches, lorries, bikes and tuk tuks and no pavements...

The hotel is filling up a bit now as I think those here for Xmas have arrived, although it is still nowhere near full.  I can't quite work out the economy here, nowhere is that busy, most of the beach beds lie empty all day and there is a huge hotel next door that is closed down, yet outside every hotel are boards outling the job vacancies for all manner of hotel staff from room maids to reception.  And the line of tuk tuks waiting across the road from the hotels seems to have no business at all with the drivers resting in their hammocks under the trees all day. The Brits certainly aren't here, having been here two weeks now (time really does fly when you are having fun), I have yet to hear a Brit voice, must be a record!

Xmas is coming.... (12 - 16 December 2011)

.....and Gill is getting fat!  Thought I needed to put a baht in the old man's hat to get some thin karma... It worked, after a week of searching, I have finally found somewhere to get a skinny latte.  Apart from diet coke, everything else here including the milk is full on fat.  Add to that a few days of rather heavy rain so less walking and copious amounts of stee rye it was in danger of getting out of hand! So on another cloudy but lovely and warm day I sit outside the Movenpick cafe and enjoy a good skinny decaf....  If it's a skinny one, does that mean that the little spice cake that comes with it is low calorie too?

But Xmas has been slow to come to Karon.  Apart from the "calming" music of Jingle Bells and "I Wish That It Was Xmas Every Day" (not a sentiment I agree with.....) as I boarded the Bangkok Airways flight, Xmas here has been strangely absent.  Until last night - now we have a veritable forest of Xmas trees growing up everywhere.

I went into "town" (Patong) a couple of days ago to look at the shops and to get a taste of home.  It's still there in abundance with Pizza Hut, McD's, Subway, Starbucks, Burger King , KFC and the shopping is still same, same.  Not sure why I expected anything different really! And of course Boots to stock up on yet more mozzie spray, I must be breathing Deet by now but the little b******s are still biting.  I got very excited when I saw that Boots have introduced their Ad Card here in Thailand, but sadly it's not gone global yet, so no baht points to add to my total! And on the notorious Bangla Road, I noticed a new outlet.  Now we've all heard of child day care and even doggie day care, but here in Patong you can get "Husband Day Care".  Apparently you leave your husband there whilst you go shopping and "our sexy girls" will look after them....  Xmas was much also more in evidence in Patong with carols blaring out in shops, from bars and even tuk tuks.  Jingle Bells in Thai does sound a bit odd... And the checkout staff in Carrefour all sporting Santa hats and a ginormous display of plastic Xmas trees.  I thought (but not for long....) of joining in with it all by buying a LED illuminated Santa hat, but you will be pleased to hear I decided against it.

Dinner a couple more nights at the Little Mermaid.  Not sure if they think it's my name, but they now greet me with "Hello, why why?......

TV Heaven (10 - 12 December 2011)

Hooray, the trusty Slingbox works fine so I am now able to look at the news, twitter and Facebook. Had to stop looking at any of these as the time difference here meant that I had to watch both X Factor episodes after they were shown in the UK and didn't want to see the result. Even I am not such a fan as to get up at 3am to watch! On Sunday night the rain was bucketing down so it was nice to sit and watch the telly. I had made it (or should that be waded....) to the little restaurant next door to the hotel - Ann's Place - where the food was good, but a little less so on the booze front. Faced with a choice of Thai wine or Thai whisky, I opted for the only other choice (well, I could have had a soft drink I suppose.....) and went for the Bacardi Breezer, I could get a taste for those.... Another bargain, chicken, stee rye and said drink all for £4. And yet more evidence of the dangers of Thai motorbikes, there was a guy in there bandaged like a mummy. All I can say is that had he never hired that bike, he would have had a much more even suntan to take home....

There are loads of places to eat here but have so far managed to avoid the "Cat and Bumroong" on the beach.... And indeed today I find Nirvana. I wandered up the main street tonight (Monday) and chanced the "Little Mermaid". Right on the street so you can watch the promenaders as they walk by, inhale the tuk tuk fumes, smell the drains, say no to the traders walkng by selling LED bunny ears and manicure sets, and wallow in the cacophony of the remaining taders touting their wares. OK so perhaps not the best location but the menu looked decent and it was busy and what I thought was a good price. When she took my order she asked if I wanted the included why why or salad. Now those of you who know me would of course expect me to choose the healthful salad, but bearing in mind warnings about eating salads abroad, I had no choice but to have the why why... So a plate of good spag bol (back on stee rye tomorrow) plus a glass of the best why why so far all for £3.69 at today's exchange rates. Looks like the "Little Mermaid" from now on then!

Paddling in Phuket (8 December 2011)

I am in Karon, the bay around from busy Patong where I was last time. This has a slightly older fashioned air about it, and is smaller and a lot quieter and missing the huge shopping mall, McDonalds and Starbucks. More of a bucket and spade sort of a place rather than bars and clubs. And bars that serve drinks, rather than girls on poles (as it were...). The beach is lovely pale sand and blue sea but is still crowded with beach beds lining every inch. The downside to Phuket is that most hotels are separated from the beach by a road (think South Circular.....). So busy that most hotels have a "lollipop man" outside to stop the traffic for you to cross! There are zebra crossings here, but they seem more like road decorations than meaningful safe havens from tuk tuks, cars and the ubiquitous moped. And another timely reminder not to hire a moped here, as I sit peacefully drinking my latte and typing this, some poor Western girl has just come flying off her bike...

But the crowded beach is less of an issue for me here. I have fallen in love with pool access rooms, where you can step straight into the pool for a paddle from your room terrace. I discovered these a couple of years ago when Carole came out here. Although the terrace here is quite small - care is needed after a couple of why why's as Thai Health and Safety don't require any sort of barrier between you and the water... Talking of why why, my Thai is coming back well and am still fully understood when ordering said why why and stee rye. And whilst the stee rye is still a huge bargain the why why is not at a fiver a small glass in the hotel of something they sell as why why, but even to my taste in cheap wine is almost undrinkable. It's at times like this I wish I liked beer...

Am staying at the Front Village hotel, yes, it's on the front with a distant view of the sea, and perhaps it was in a village many years ago when it was built.... It seems very quiet and unless it gets busier, the compulsory New Year Gala dinner will be interesting... The few other guests here seem to be Russians and Finns. In fact Russians are by far the majority of tourists in Karon, even the restaurants advertise "International Food, Russian Food, Thai Food and Fresh Seafood" in that order. So blini's and borscht for tea then?

But the staff at the hotel are lovely, and I think the excellent service in the restaurant is usual rather than the result of me being the only person in there... And am lovin' the welcome on the bed and the little elephants in the bathroom made from the flannels.

 Wifi is now sorted and as long as Slingbox keeps going I can sit on my terrace with a drink late afternoon and tune into Jeremy Kyle and catch up with all those episodes of "Banged Up Abroad". Fingers crossed it all keeps working so I can see the X Factor final - my taste in tv obviously hasn't improved! Aint technology wonderful, so good that it was fab last night to Facetime Ant at work in Hertfordshire as I tucked into a Pad Thai here!

Where did all that time go... (7 December 2011)

Here I am back in Thailand, feel like it was only yesterday I was here. Am as usual ensconced in the Great Residence Hotel near the airport before my flight to Phuket tomorrow. It was odd leaving the UK without Ant this time, but only 30 sleeps to go before our adventure into Burma! It was also odd to be on Qantas and not BA but in these credit crunch times I am using my BA points (or should that now be Avios points....) this time and Qantas was all available.

Luckily, the flood problems here have receded, at least around the airport, although there was still evidence of it over a large area that could be seen as we were coming in to land. And until recently the hotel had to substitute the airport minibus for a truck for some of the short journey to the airport. But not much else changes. The staff here are the same and as helpful as ever carrying my big bag up big stairs to the room. And I was pleased to see both national and yellow flags everywhere for my arrival, all around buildings and lining my route from the airport - until that is, I realised it had been the King's birthday on the 5th...

Wiffy And Weddings (29 April - 1 May 2011)

Today is the big day at home, the Royal Wedding. But it is, it seems, also quite big out here. The front page of the National paper, the Nation, has had some aspect of the wedding as its headline for the last few days. But I guess as they revere their Royal Family here, they are also interested in other Royal proceedings. My plan to watch in on the iPad have been scuppered by the odd wifi here. It cuts out every few minutes on the iPad and asks you to re log in. It's a little better on the laptop, but that requires a power source so have moved the deck furniture around, managed to plug it in and off we go, just by the pool. I also have the backup of a snowy tv picture from BBC World, but that has a Thai language voiceover, Huw Edwards does look odd with his mouth moving, but a Thai girl's voice emerging..... But mostly, like the wedding itself, it went well, only requiring two mad dashes across the decking to catch the first glimpse of the frock and the balcony kiss as the wifi decided to drop just at those two moments!



I was also able to cheer the happy couple with dusty bottle of Prosecco I found in the Supermarket, the nearest I could find to champagne, it appears Thai's are not big drinkers....
My wifi issues continue today. I was woken at 7.30 this morning by strange sounds as the aircon turned on and off, followed by a loud blast in the distance. An explosion at a local substation has knocked out the power, and with it obviously the aircon, and less obviously, the water, I guess it must be pumped. The only water that hasn't turned off is that from the sky, I have been lulled into a false sense of security for the last few days with wall to wall sunshine, for today, it appears to be wall to wall rain! The hotel tell me that the power is being worked on but may be some hours..... Especially with the "Thai time" factor..... Oh well, I will just have to drink the last of the Prosecco that I (surprisingly.....) have left before it warms up as of course the fridge is off too..... Cheers!

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Flashbacks...... (25 - 28 April 2011)

This seemed a fitting title for this blog, I have gone from flashpacking in Kuala Lumpur, to backpacking again at the Great Residence in Bangkok, and now back to big (but bargain....) flashpacking here at the AKA Resort in Hua Hin, but it is a bit of a tradition to end my trip with a bit of a splurge. But also Hua Hin is a flashback too, I last came here many years ago, so it will be interesting to see how it has changed.
So leaving Kuala Lumpur, I arrive back in Bangkok late at night and make my way to my little airport hotel. I had planned to get the train from Bangkok to Hua Hin, but wimped out. I need to carry less stuff but that is easier said than done, and managing to get it all into Bangkok City, onto a train and then to the hotel at the other end seemed a backpack too far! And I could shave a couple of hours and a few quid off the journey by getting a taxi so that was what was planned. But I have learned that in Thailand, planning and execution are two different things. Suffice to say, booked taxi didn't show, at the backpacker hotel I was harrassed by the travel desk to take their taxi as soon as the booked cab was a minute late (same price, but I was convinced it was some sort of scam....). I held out for half an hour but finally gave in and was transported to Hua Hin in some style in a Merc limo. But it looks like the cab, booked for 9am, was never going to show and here is the email I received a day later, it made me laugh and at least wasn't me held by the Thai police....

We are very sorry about today's matter.
we all operators really didn't know till some hotel staff called us at 10 : 00.
Because you didn't called and your driver also didn't reported to us.
Hotel staff explained you already left to Hua hin and our driver arrived too lately,
and then, we checked it up to our driver manager, he also didn't know about it.
at last, we contacted and asked to our driver what was going on and why didn't report to our operator.
Your driver had some trouble with traffic policeman on the way, but the policeman didn't accept to let him go to pick up the clients,
so, your driver called his friend urgently instead of him, but his friend also needed time to go your hotel,
he reported us about this matter around 12 : 00 after free from that policeman.
we really opologize you.

Needless to say, I haven't booked them for the trip back!
The journey south felt a little bit like driving down to Brighton for a few days. The road skirts south of the city, but it seems to go on for ages through industrial areas, over huge modern bridges, I'm not sure I quite realised just how big a sprawl Bangkok is. And because it is so flat, you get a great view of the downtown area in the distance. And then on to the motorway where eventually the scenery changes and a few hills appear, just like the South Downs, but perhaps not as rounded!



The AKA Resort is beautiful, and I have been upgraded to a two bed villa.



All the villas here have private infinity pools, and I am now ensconsed in a huge area with a big bedroom, living room, indoor and outdoor bathroom, second bedroom in a separate building and joy of joys my own ten metre pool. Oh, and a big rooftop sala with huge day bed. The place is spread over many acres and is that lovely Thai minimalist design. Monochrome, very Zen, very quiet, lots of water. All the staff wear dark grey loose pyjama outfits so it does have a bit of a feel of some posh rehab place, but worry not, it does have a good bar with a happy hour! As you can imagine, I am quite settled here.....


It seemed a shame to leave the place, but I decided I needed to head down into Hua Hin and check it out. It was unrecognisable from last time. The good news is that the overpowering smell of drying fish that I recall so well had gone. There are now loads of hotels and shops that weren't here before, but it still retains a charm of its own. I go to the Sofitel, the old Railway Hotel at the beach where I stayed before. That looked the same, but I guess it would, it has been there since the twenties.... The only thing I couldn't find this time was the baby elephant that used ro visit the pool at lunchtime.... Health and Safety have probably put paid to that! And the topiary elephants that used to be so good were rather difficult to recognise...



On my walk around I also saw a few more Thai-ism's that I quite like. Gob's Fish and Chips restaurant didn't appeal, and am not sure that Effin Cosmetics will go global...
So back into the hills for a few days of total relaxation.....
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A Long Way For A Short Weekend (21 - 24 April 2011)

Time now for a different type of adventure, exploring the Malls and sights of Kuala Lumpur. Ant and I take yet another Air Asia flight direct from Sandakan to the capital on peninsular Malaysia. The flight at almost three hours made us realise what a huge area this country covers. We land in the Low Cost Terminal and brave, even at midnight, the long, long queue for taxis. The airport is a really long way from the city, almost 60 kms and even at this late hour with motorways most of the way, it takes just over an hour.
But how nice to be greeted by David who has come in much further than us from London for the Easter weekend, he of course, had arrived in a little more splendour than us via various VIP lounges and the proper, rather than low cost terminal..... We had gone to the airport direct from a whole day in the humid jungle, so were looking, if that were possible, even more backpackery than usual! David was as polite as he could be but we did strain his sincerity! He came bearing gifts, chocolate and mags (how nice to be catching up with Hello! and OK!), so it was a little like Christmas...
We were back to flashpacking at the Mandarin Oriental, chosen of course for location, and no, not because it is next door to the magnificent Petronas Towers, but because it is within thirty seconds of the largest, poshest shopping mall, the Suria KLCC Mall in Kuala Lumpur.... very impressive as we trawled every designer label known to man.
We felt that before giving ourselves up to shopping, we really should see some the city so set off cameras in hand for the usual KL landmarks, and braving the surprisingly easy metro system we see the old mosque, Merdeka Square and big flag, the National Mosque and the Museum of Islamic Art - well we speeded through the exhibits but did spend time in the cafe and the gift shop... The city is a real mix of very old and very new, big skyscraper buildings, some very 80's in design, some newer and some still being built, the Petronas Towers of course, huge modern malls all side by side with old Chinatown and bustling Little India, and Central Market.



David is as adventurous as Ant when it comes to food so our day two breakfast was taken at the Imbi Market where, perched on small red chairs they munch away at mainly unidentified local delicacies.... Gill of course, giving the local delicacies a miss sipped at the worst coffee ever and looked forward to a latte and a doughnut at the rather more hygienic Coffee Bean later... Then without Gill, who was being wimpy (again.....) they go up the KL Tower. Having done our worthy sightseeing, we then felt we deserved to enjoy the serious part of the day - shopping. All I will say is that it is a good job David brought out extra bags..... But they did get some respite with half an hour in the fish foot spa, so important when there is all that mall walking to do!


And of course food is important so in the evening we eat on the streets in Jalan Alor which is heaving with people and stalls and fragrant (?) with the smell of bbq, durian fruit and fish head curry. The food was really good and amazingly cheap. Major downside, for Gill at least is the absence of wine, this is a beer only street. But we make up for this by stopping at the trendy Sky Bar at Trader's hotel on the way back. Up on the high top floor of the hotel, it's a smart, noisy bar with a long swimming pool running straight through it..... David looked the part, but Ant and I didn't feel completely on trend in the best our backpacker wardrobes could come up with.... The night time view of the Petronas Towers on our walk back with the Mandarin Oriental just in front is pretty impressive.


Easter Sunday and last day here for and Ant and David, so, again without wimpy Gill, they go up to the top of the Petronas Towers at 88 floors and just over 450 metres, to see the panorama of KL below them. For mere mortals, this means getting in a queue at 8.30 am in the morning to get tickets, then waiting in another queue to get up there.



But of course in the Mandarin Oriental, there is nothing the conch can't achieve. For the princely sum of fifty quid, you can pay someone to do the queueing for you, so it will come as no surprise that "outsource Ant" did exactly that!


Finally an afternoon at the pool with champagne and club sandwiches, and a monumental storm with probably the heaviest rain we have seen so far in Malaysia, must have been the sky crying big tears as Ant and David had to go home. We had a great long weekend here in KL, it's an ideal city for a bit of a treat, lots to see, good shopping and food and a laid back vibe, a good background to a relaxing time.
But now they have gone, I am Gill no mates again, my flight back into Thailand isn't till tomorrow..... sympathy please.......

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The Wild Man Of Borneo (21 April 2011)

Today was our day for seeing orangutans at the Sepilok Orangutan Rehabilitation Centre. It is here that orphaned orangutans, often casualties of the deforestation to make way for the palm oil plantations, are rescued and trained to survive back in the wild. It's not guaranteed that you will see any of these wild men of Borneo and we were concerned that it may be a little zoo like - how wrong we were.



As part of their rehabilitaion, food is left at various points in the forest, getting increasingly further from civilisation to gradually reduce their reliance on human contact. The food provided - milk and bananas is deliberatly bland so that its becomes boring for them and hence they look to gather their own food. They also have nurseries where the very young orphans are trained to climb ropes and vines, things they would normally learn in their first six years from their mothers. Some of the released orangs never avail themslves of the food, others do for varying lengths of time.



We were allowed only to feeding station one, for the newly released. Twice a day, rangers climb onto a platform which has ropes attached to the surrounding trees and we waited in silence. Then a rope moved, then another and then an orang came into sight, swinging on the ropes, oblivious to us watching. It was magical. In all maybe six turned up, two mothers with young babies a few adolescents, their humanlike DNA evident for all to see. We were both sure that we recognised family..... Seeing the tiny babies, born in the reserve to previously rescued orangs, clutched to their mum as she swings along the ropes was both lovely and testament to the success of this programme.


When we went back this afternoon there was a real air of excitement about the place. The staff were telling us about a wild adult male who was around and they were hoping he might show his face. He has not been seen for four years, so they weren't hopeful but nevertheless, they were all out in force, looking slightly apprehensive. We make our way into the centre of the reserve and a few monkeys were jumping, one getting a little close for comfort. Then Ant looks up and silently (you have to be silent when in the reserve) points out a huge animal swinging through the trees, Ant was the first to spot CID, this elusive, wild male.



No wonder the staff were a little apprehensive - he is massive and as the dominant male has different facial features, fleshy facial flanges and a throat pouch, much bigger and much more solidly built than the rest. He was quite terrifying as he approached. Just time to get a couple of pictures before he dropped down to the forest floor and out of sight, frankly with a silent sigh of relief from Gill! We thought that was it, how lucky were we to see not only another wild orangutan but such a rare one.
More orangutans came in, mothers with babies, young toddlers of a couple of years old finding their way, young males, fascinating. There were many macaque monkeys around as well, they were fun to watch, but the orangs treated them with derision and the occassional swipe. Milk and bananas all eaten, the orangs started to drift away then suddenly CID appears again and leaps onto a rope and he makes his way to another platform and studies the few of us who are left. It felt like we had changed places as he swept his piercing gaze over us all, seeming to take in every detail of our appearance and deciding what to do next. How an animal with his bulk had managed to move from the forest floor where we had last spotted him to his new place was a mystery, none of us, including the experienced rangers had heard a single leaf rustle as he moved.



So a fitting last day in Sabah, another magical one in our Borneo adventure as tomorrow we move to the bright lights, decent coffee, posh hotel and civilisation of Kuala Lumpur. All of Borneo has been amazing, a real adventure place and every day has produced special memories, we have done and seen such a lot. The only downside is that it has gone too quickly.......
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The Last Resort Of The Flintstones (20 April 2011)

Time to move down from the cool of the mountains to the heat of the coastal plain at Sepilok/Sandakan in search of orangutans. As usual on this trip, bus information has been hard to find and even the Kinabalu Pines Resort had "no information" on buses. We didn't want to backtrack to Kota Kinabalu and fly here to Sandakan, as our aim to do it all overland was still important. We had seen buses passing along the road by the hotel with Sandakan emblazoned across the front. So we take a chance, and wander, well for Ant after his marathon climb, waddle, down to the road and wait outside the "wishing machine" repair shop, we still want to know where to buy one! We were rewarded after about 45 hot minutes with the golden BS Express bus coming to a screeching halt in the mud and on we got. The bus was all locals again, this time with quite a few children. Luckily when we got on, the only seats were at the back, which proved fortunate as it meant we missed the sprays of child sick that occasionally erupted.... All we had to be careful of was not slipping on it on the aisle....
We make a short lunch stop at Telupid and lo and behold, all the mothers filled their childs' stomach's again for a repeat performance for the last half.... But we were entertained by the in house videos and saw a Kung Fu epic and Toy Story 3. Now of only if there had been a trolley with a glass of champagne it would have been perfect.



The journey was fascinating, the scenery gradually changing from mountain streams and deep jungle to more and more agriculture on the de forested terraced slopes, to mile after mile after mile of palm oil plantations. These appear to be taking over a lot of Borneo and the oil is used in food, cosmetics and increasingly, bio diesel. But it is taking away the natural habitat of a lot of the native wildlife, including the orangutans, who are increasingly pushed into smaller reserves.
Rather than go into Sandakan and then travel back out the 26kms to Sepilok where the orangutan reserve is, we asked the bus driver if he could drop us off on the way. We had read in LP that you get dropped off at the Sepilok roundabout, also called the Orangutan roundabout. Suddenly a sign appeared for a roundabout and we saw a big wooden orangutan on it so started heading for the front of the bus. We were trying not to slip on the sick, Ant was having trouble moving at all, and until the driver came to yet another screeching halt, we thought he had forgotten. But no, as the bus moved off into the dusty distance we were in the place that the LP describes as having loads of cars to take people the 2.6 kms to the hotels around the reserve. Only problem, no cars..... But as usual someone came to our rescue and we piled into an ancient Datsun car and off down the road to the Sepilok Jungle Resort.
We actually only tried to book this a few days ago as we hadn't finally decided on our itinerary. We realised we were probably heading back to tourist central as everywhere was booked. We finally found a local website which got us what looked like the last rooms in Sepilok. It was only after we had booked, we thought to check it out in the LP. Their advice was avoid like the plague and it really should be called the Last Resort! But it was our last resort..... It is the nearest (a five minute walk) to the Sepilok Orangutan Rehabilitation Centre but it is a bit of an odd place. Spread out over a huge area of the forest with pools and walkways and the only swimming pool for miles, it's a beautiful setting. The rooms however.... actually they are not the worst we have stayed in, but basic would be a good description.




But the odd thing is they must have bought a job lot of concrete as everything is made of it, but all (badly) painted to look like wood. The walkways, the bar chairs, the tv stand.... Just call us Fred and Thelma.






Ant goes for a swim early evening to ease his Kinabalu muscles, it doesn't work. Gill rather liked the longest list ever of pool rules, the favourite of which was "do not use the pool to do your business, use the toilet" still not sure that was reassuring.... And then to dinner in the concrete/log restaurant, where we discover another great drink. Fresh lime juice topped up with more secret water, bought in Kota Kinabalu in case of emergencies. Being in a jungle with no wine list constituted exactly that....



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The Hard Path To The Top, Climbing Mt Kinabalu (18/19 April, 2011)

This is all Ant, Gill was lazing away down the mountain...I've copied my texts sent as I went.



My first glimpse of Mt Kinabalu was as we drove out of Kota Kinabalu 110km away! Must be some mountain to be able to see it's distinctive cockscomb jagged top of bare rock from that distance. The lower slopes are clad in dense rainforest, matching the rest of Sabah. There had been a nagging in the back of my mind all week, what if I failed? There was so much riding on this climb, if I failed, then Kili in July will be futile. I had to get to the top. And of course my preparation had been negligible.
I got to the national park hq to meet my guide at 9.30. He was a child! Tiny, nimble, simple rubber shoes on his feet. I was dressed to climb the Eiger in comparison. Lesson One for Kili - carry as little as possible, every extra bag of licorice allsorts and Sports mixture will make a difference.
We set off from the Timpohon gate at 1866m. I had to climb 1500m today over the short distance of 6 km. Estimates were generally set at 6.5 hrs. How could it take so long? We set off past waterfalls, through verdant green rainforest, it was beautiful. First km in 25 minutes, I was on fire!



Text: all good, 1km done, 8 to go. Steep steps thru rainforest. 25 min km, not bad, guide nice as speak "no inglish".

Every 500m there was a marker, my goodness some of these felt far apart. It was steamy and hot, I was soon sodden through, Very quickly I stopped looking around. The ascent had started in earnest and it was hard. There were occasional rest areas where you could collect mountain water. I would stop for a Jaffa cake fix. They helped a lot.



Text: 2km at 10.35 alt 2252m still hot, relentless steps. Enjoying it.

Climbing 1500m over 6 km, feels like climbing stairs. It was a relentless uphill slog, Sometimes it was so steep that there were in fact wooden stairs with handrails, otherwise, it was rock hewn steps, akin to climbing up a rocky stream bed for 6 km. As I gained altitude, I had to frequently stop to catch my breath. Lesson no. 2 for Kili - go at a pace that doesn't get you out of breath, as it was hard to get it back. I could hear my pulse in my ears, feel my heart pumping and am convinced that my left arm was swelling, shit I could die up here!!! The rainforest with its pitcher plants gave way to rhododendrons, then to high altitude scrub as the air got thinner and cooler. The clouds flying by, wispy and mysterious. This was as tough as the London marathon and I hadn't even trained. Fool. Made to feel even worse by the porters, young and old, male and female, who carry huge loads up this hill to the huts every day. They skipped past in flip flops, ggrrrrr.

Text: now at Pandok Layang Layang, passed 3.5 km mark. In clouds, huge ferns, flowers and steps. Starting to see last night people coming down.

At 1440 I arrived at Laban Rata resthouse, home for the next 12 hours. I was breathless and had a bad headache and this was only 3300m, Kili is at 6000m. I had a dorm bed, I collapsed into it, some people were skipping around, I could hardly move, fortunately there were some young Swedish people in the dorm who were in an even worse state than me, that made me feel better! We all had headaches, one of the girls had tingly arms, another thought that circulation had stopped to her leg and she had a clot, welcome to hypochondriac anonymous, but it was nice to share as the walk up was lonely. There was only me in my group and Samira, my guide spoke no english, other then "yes, beautiful" to whatever question I posed. If I could have breathed I could have had a fun conversation to amuse myself, but breathing was my focus. Kili tip 3. Headache pills, take them early, and keep drinking.

Text: made the hut at 14.40, 6km, 3300m. Knackered, its tough, now above tree line. Will have to get fitter before Kili. Mountains take no prisoners.

My dorm was situated in the Pendant hut which was made of tin sheets, stuck on the side of the mountain, with toilets and cold water showers in the cellar which was open to the elements. Why would anyone take a shower? Most climbers were Chinese and they were kitted out in brand new climbing and hiking gear. I was feeling like Steptoe.


Dinner was in the main hut, about 100m downhill. Getting my boots back on was a struggle let alone walking down to dinner, but I made it. Stuffed myself with carbs and headed back, taking photos of the sunset as I went. But bed was my focus, and I was wrapped up in someone else's left over sleeping bag by 6pm.

We were going to get woken for the final ascent at 2.00 am. I don't think I slept at all, I was worrying that if tomorrow was worse, and it should be as it was higher, then would I be able to make it. I must have slept though, as I heard someone complain about the snorer the next day....

Text: here goes, dumped as much stuff as poss, v cold, going outside, may be a while.

I remember the sleeping bag being warm and cosy and so getting up wasn't easy. Toast, peanut butter, hot tea for breakfast and at 2.30 am Samira arrived in a balaclava. I was well layered with Icebreakers! And with a flashlight on my head we set off to conquer Kinabalu. And the amazing thing was I felt great, breathlessness and aches had gone. Bring on the summit! It was still uphill, still hard work, but nowhere near the agony of yesterday, I could make this, the stars were out in force, there was a full moon, as there will be for Kili. The mountain looked beautiful. Behind me were a trail of head torches, akin to candles from some medieval pilgrimage. The steps soon gave way to smooth granite slabs, they had ropes across them, I had to use my hands to haul myself up and across, the ropes went on for ages.

Text: 7km, 3666m, 1hr 20 to do 1km, but in middle of pack, so no problem. Crossing sheer granite slopes, using ropes, tough but enjoying it. Should summit at 6.30 hopefully, heart pounding.



Amazingly, it felt easy, the air was cool, the surroundings were astonishing, and I knew that I was going to make it.

Text: 8km 3969 m, this is such a special place. Loving being up here. Astonishing other worldly, the moon makes me want to cry.


It was unclear to me which of the many jagged pillars is in fact the summit of Lows Peak, but soon the line of head torches became evident and there was a mad scramble up the final 200m.


Text: made it at 05.40 Result! I'm at the top of SE Asia chuffed to bits gorgeous sunrise.

I had made it, the last 2.8 km and 800m in 3 hrs and 10 minutes. I shed a few tears, I think they were of relief and happiness. I had carried up some stones in memory of friends departed and it all felt so right. I was really proud of myself. Amazingly there was a mobile signal and so I facebooked and called David. It was great to share the moment. Kili tip no 4 night climbing feels easier, take spare torch batteries.

Text: feels amazing and so chuffed. Last half hour scramble. Placed memory rocks at top.


The sunrise was beautiful as they always are at altitude, the moon hadn't set, so it shared the sky. The world had never looked better. How lucky I am to get to see all this? Then the mad scramble for a photo at the sign and after 30 minutes, and all too soon, it was time to turn back downhill. I will never forget this moment. Colin and John if you are reading this, Kili will be amazing. Kili tip no. 5 bring tissues.

I walked down the whole 2.2 km altitude/9.2 km in distance in one morning, I left the peak at 06.10, getting back to base at 13.00, with an hour's break for breakfast at the huts.

Text: 0820 back at dorm hut for breakfast. Descent hard on toes and knees am elated.

Downhill was hard on the knees and toes.

Text: back down, legs jelly, toes fallen off.

Gill was waiting with a big glass of why why. I was too tired to talk. To bed with a smile!

Today, walking down steps is hard and I have two black toenails as souvenirs.

Kili tip no.6 Take linament, knee supports and champagne. The satisfaction feels immense. Bring it on.




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