Oriental memories (8 - 11 April 2016)

So on to the traditional end of season flashpack, this time to Bangkok for a return visit to the iconic Oriental on the banks of the Chao Phraya river. Bittersweet memories as I was last here with Kev many moons ago. Not much has changed since my last visit but now they have another small pool and cabanas as well as the original one. When Kev and I were here we lolled about for a few days by said pool and this time it was more of the same! The only memory I didn't repeat was the turn around the ballroom. When Kev and I were here we found a very ornate small ballroom in the Author's Wing and decided to act out part of the "King and I" by recreating the polka scene as we took an energetic turn around the ballroom. Looking back, I hope it was so long ago it was pre cctv....

The hotel is amazing, not just the building itself, but the staff. I got a big welcome back and "welcome home", they appear to keep such good records and make sure they match them up when you return even after all those years. And the staff always call you by name, they must only employ people with exceptional memories.... A few economies stand out though. In the "old days" you got two dressing gowns, one cosy towelling one and another lightweight one. Now it's just the lightweight one, but in this day and age I guess we all need to economise...

This time it was my birthday whilst I was there so I used that as an excuse to lounge about round the pool yet again in one of the new cabanas where amazing little food offerings were delivered along with cold towels and water throughout the day. And the hotel helped me celebrate my birthday with a cake and their signature macaroons and a very embarrassing rendition of "Happy Birthday" on the Riverside Terrace at breakfast along with a lovely bouquet of orchids, two cards and another cake in the room. A lovely day.

I really thought the hotel had gone the extra mile the day after my birthday with an enormous, very impressive firework display launched from a barge on the river facing the hotel. The fireworks were so big and loud they made the hotel shake.... and at the end more fireworks gradually spelled out the words Happy Birthday - but then the four letter name after that was not Gill but Vlad..... Looks like the problem with the rouble hasn't hit everyone then!

So as I took the hotel limo in one last flashpack to the airport any pretensions of grandeur I had were well and truly squashed by Thai Immigration. It was nearly a quick journey from the Oriental Bangkok to the Bangkok Hilton. After checking in I went through the immigration channel only to be hauled out and told I had overstayed. Trying to explain to the woman that I had a year's visa and had reported in after 90 days to Samui immigration as required made no difference. All she could say was "you no risten". And you got the feeling that if you didn't "risten" and do as you were told the may be consequences. My passport was thrown on top of a heap of others and I was told to wait with no idea how long that would be or indeed what the hell was going on. After about half an hour I was called back to the counter and told I had overstayed. Explaining again that I had already paid £125 for a one year visa of which I had used only four months and had reported to Samui immigration as required after 90 days and who had provided the form that was residing in my passport as proof, I was told that it was the wrong form. So due to Samui immigration incompetence, I had apparently overstayed and the fine was 16500 baht, nearly £350 pounds, Thai cash only please, now. Off I was marched again to the bureau de change for the cash. So my £350 fine plus the £125 visa charge added a grand total of £475 to my trip. At this moment I'm not sure it was worth it. The Thai's need to get this sort of stuff sorted as it leaves visitors with a shocking impression of the country. But at least the Bangkok Hilton was avoided and perhaps a there was a touch of hubris, I should never have tempted fate with my blog post "a brush with the law"...

Change in Cha am? (4 - 7 April 2016)

At the end of the touristy bit of Cha am beach, after a short stroll at the very end of the beach through some dusty scrub, you get to where it all would have started, the original fishing village. I love the sign to it "Cha am jetty - drawbridge of blue crab pulling". 

As well as where they land the catch with the rough looking painted boats, the market and fishermen's houses are crowded together with a very rickety foot and motorbike bridge joining the two. 

There is also a very long breakwater fairly recently built to protect the harbour area. It's a nice walk along it in the cooler evening. It's about half a mile long and apart from two very large squid to keep you company at the end you feel like you are really the middle of the sea, hopefully as near to being in the middle of the sea as I'll ever get! It's a favourite for the youth of Cha am to get together and for line fishermen to see wha they can catch from the edge.

And the one benefit the locals here have over the holiday makers is that from the village they can look West and see a glorious sunsets and the distant hills, the beach itself faces resolutely East.

I've liked Cha am, it does what it says on the tin, seaside and buckets and spades. But there are signs that changes are afoot. There have been a few new boutique hotels opened in the last year or so, all clearly targeted at Western tourists and not Thai overnighters. And there are also a lot of beach road areas that have already been cleared ready for new buildings. A big new condo is just about finished, branded Lumpini Park Beach with Lumpini Park being a swish area in Bangkok, so obviously targeted at the moneyed Bangkok middle classes for investment. But at least with this they've done a good job, it's low rise, only four storey so at least the development hasn't gone the awful way of Pattaya and Phuket with huge high rises. But the new shopping area being developed behind it of coffee shops and chi chi bakeries and boutiques will never be affordable to or probably even attractive to the current day trippers. But I think the danger is that the more swishy places that open up, the less they will want to put up with the three miles of old fashioned stripey deckchairs and umbrellas supporting the Thai holiday maker and will want the beach opened up. They've done this in Phuket and banned all sunbeds and umbrellas. But if that happens here not only will the current economy collapse but the one beach place in Thailand that I've ever found that still "belongs" to the Thai people may disappear for ever and that would be wrong.

I found this Lonely Planet piece which I think sums current Cha am up perfectly, I just hope it doesn't change...

"Cheap and cheerful Cha-am is a popular beach getaway for working-class families and Bangkok students. On weekends and public holidays, neon-painted buses, their sound systems pumping, deliver groups of holidaymakers. It is a very Thai-style beach party, with eating and drinking marathons held around umbrella-shaded beach chairs and tables. Entertainment is provided by the banana boats that zip back and forth, eventually making a final jack-knife turn that throws the passengers into the sea. Applause and giggles usually follow from the beachside audience.

Cha-am doesn't see many foreigners; visitors are usually older Europeans who winter here instead of more expensive Hua Hin. And there are even fewer swimsuits on display as most Thai's frolic in the ocean in T-shirts and shorts. But Cha-am’s beach is long, wide and sandy, the grey-blue water is clean and calm, the seafood is superb, the people-watching entertaining and the prices are some of the most affordable anywhere on the coast."

Off the buses.... (23 March - 4 April 2016)

Not sure if it was an extra busy weekend, but today, a Monday, Cha am seems like a ghost town. The one day/one night trippers in their colourful coaches don't get here until later and the weekend visitors made the long late journey back home yesterday, sitting in the big traffic jam at 7 pm last night. The big decorated double decker coaches, known as "chor ching cha", (and here's picture of my favourite artwork so far, "dogs having a party"...) are absent over the weekend as visitors arrive under their own steam. 

That steam appears to be big pick up's which must account for at least 90% of all the weekend vehicles. Most are closely parked up against the three mile long ribbon of umbrellas and deckchairs, but some break for freedom at the extreme ends of the three mile strip where the deckchairs peter out a bit. They empty their occupants from up to four generations out of the pick up, then the contents of the back, spread out a tarp, empty the stripy bags, light the small BBQ and cook up a veritable feast that would feed many in a Thai buffet restaurant that smells amazing as you walk by at eight in the morning. And all washed down with beers and the seemingly obligatory bottle of Hong Thong the local whisky for the men and brightly coloured pop for the women and children. But even if you do forget something for your picnic you need not fear. I have never seen as many 7/11's in my life, even more than in Samui, it feels like there's one very few metres. But very helpful if you need a quick cool down on a walk, like mini cooling stations as their aircon is fierce!

And this week there's an extra attraction here. From the big poster I recognised a "31" and a "6" and from that cleverly deduced, as the rest, like all notices and ads here (and hotel front desks), are in Thai only, that the small market that has appeared on the prom at the main beach junction is just here for this week. It's a bit like Mae Nam's walking street but on a much smaller scale but without the Western influence! I have no idea what most of the food offerings are except for these fried insects, apparently a really good source of protein - think I'll stick to the local seafood for that! 

There are additional clothes stalls including one selling the stylish full head cover ups for when you're working outside, quite scary! There's lots of soap and even a tent for "face candling". And each evening a concert. The first night was a Thai orchestra playing traditional instruments followed by gentle Thai dancing, bizarrely, the next night was a solo guitarist blasting out old Shadow's numbers on his electric guitar. I kept expecting Cliff to appear but no luck there...

But the food offerings here even outside the market are non stop. Obviously the seafood, but also the breakfast stalls selling all sorts each morning before the over nighters clamber back on their big decorated buses. One thing I'm not too sure about is the white sliced bread, very lightly toasted and spread with something yellow, could be butter. That sits there till someone wants to buy. Then it appears to be sliced into soldiers and dunked in warm Carnation milk.... not for me!

But going back to the buses, you'd think that with the expensive artwork on them they'd be careful drivers, but no. Every day in the paper and online there are terrible reports of bus crashes, dangerous driving, high speed crashes and even drivers on drugs (a frequent report) to stay awake. But in fact all Thai driving seems appalling. As a nation my observation is that generally they just don't look where they're going, pedestrians wander in front of you, cyclists pedal along looking anywhere but where they're going. When vehicles reverse out of a parking space, they don't check if anything's behind them, I've learned after a few near misses to never walk behind a parked car, as they all have smoked glass you can't tell whether there's anyone in there or not! No one ever gives way to a pedestrian even on zebra crossings. Motor cyclists are always texting as they go and completely ignoring red lights. But it's the bus accident rate that keeps me off them these days.... It just so happens taxi's are a bit more civilised....