No shirt, no shoes, no shit, no problem.... (January 4 - 9 2010)

…..so said the sign as we stepped off the water taxi at perfect Caye Caulker. We did however, have a big problem at Caye Caulker – the weather – we are in the tropics and its been coldish, windy and grey for two out of our five days. We have suffered from the arctic winds pushing down into the States and sending colder air down here, similar phenomenon to the UK which is suffering from heavy snow, and it is all probably starting here with the Gulf stream.

But I am going ahead of myself. We breakfasted in Belize city at a hovel next to the hotel called Marlin’s, overlooking the dirty creek. The fried eggs with ’jacks’ were amazing, ‘jacks’ being akin to fried savoury donuts – yummy – going to like Belize. Gill’s only concern was the sewer pipe from the hotel next door where we had been staying pouring out into said creek just next to us……
We took a quick look around downtown Belize City – which is a run down ‘Caribbean’ type town, and visited St John’s cathedral – the oldest Anglican cathedral in Central America – built with British bricks brought over as ballast! But that was all there was to see – so we carried our back packs over the swing bridge to the water taxi terminal.

Gill wasn’t too happy with the water taxi called Tsunami – an open boat onto which about 70 of us piled on with our luggage. The throttle opened and clutching our mandatory bright orange life jackets, away we raced out to sea and northwards to Caye Caulker, looking for all the world like survivors from the Titanic! We looked out eagerly to spot Caulker, amongst the other mangrove islands, and 45 minutes later it came into view, surrounded by perfect turquoise seas. Numerous pelicans and frigate birds flew from dock to dock.

A gorgeous little island, comprising only of a narrow sand strip with palms and lots of small boat jetty’s, low clapboard houses on stilts, painted in pastel pinks, yellows and blues. No cars, no roads, only sand lanes with the odd golf cart or bike, but the island is so small even Gill can manage without wheels. Only three lanes – Front Street, Middle street and Back street! We fell in love with it immediately and it was sunny when we arrived! We found an ‘alto cinco’ place to stay – Popeye’s, right on the beach, simple but clean with an uninterrupted view of the coral reef a few hundred metres out and Gill even had her own hammock. The reef here is the second only in size to the Great Barrier Reef in Oz. The island is only 400 metres wide and one mile long.

The island logo is “go slow” and we have really taken this on board. Quite happy to wander about – perhaps there is something in the water. But talking of water, the tap stuff is either sulphurous if piped up from a bore or really acrid from the chemicals used to desalinate the sea water. Another excuse not to bother with a shower! The locals are incredibly and frustratingly laid back, getting commitment to anything is impossible. Shops and restaurants open and close on a whim at odd hours, just if the owner wants to go and do something else, bar and restaurant staff are laid back to the point of being horizontal.

The island vibe has obviously gone to Ant’s head. It’s always nice to find a busy bar for a pre dinner rum. We thought we’d found it – we got the last two seats at the long oval bar. We were surprised it was so full as the island seems really quiet, but nonetheless we sat down, only Gill realising that they were right in front of the tv. Gill tried to tell Ant that there was obviously something big on the TV – but in his new Caye Caulker laid back way he said “no problem”…. It was when the guy next to us announced that it was a big Canadian/USA Ice Hockey final grudge match and all the bar was full of fans that the penny dropped with Gill. Sadly, it didn’t with Ant. When told in a furious whisper by Gill about the match (which we were blocking totally by sitting in front of the TV), Ant decided to engage with a guy across the bar and pronounce in a rather loud voice that “in England, only women play hockey”….. The whole bar went quiet….. We were lucky to get out alive!

One day we walked to the Lazy Lizard Inn for a Belikin Beer overlooking the “split” a narrow channel created by a hurricane a few year’s ago but now a nice sandy beachy bit – or was that the rum making it look so good? It’s amazing how much you can find to see and do on a tiny island on a cold, windy day – we have shopped, drunk rum, looked at the small landing strip, drunk rum, taken a look at the electricity generating centre, drunk rum, checked out the bottle bank, drunk rum, wandered to the commercial dock, drunk rum, shopped again, drunk rum, visited the local bakery for a cinnamon and banana danish, drunk rum, perused the Chinese grocery stores, drunk rum, ant even had a massage, drunk rum, ….. you get the drift…..

We are whinging about the weather, but to be fair only one day was really horrid.

We have breakfasted very expensively, and dined very cheaply (often on lobster which reigns supreme here). There are some really expensive ‘latte’ type foreign owned places, we have paid (serves us right, we should have checked first) over £10 each for a very simple egg or pancake breakfast – twice! Our cheapest so far was a bargain £4 each where Ant had a lobster omelette – the bargain of the island. Dinners have been very relaxed, usually on the beach (Gill wrapped in several layers of icebreakers to keep out the wind), trying to eat locally. We loved the fried chicken with beans and rice at Syd’s, shrimp with coconut rice and mash at Fran’s (a shack on the beach), lobster curry at Jolly Roger’s tin-sheet shack. Jolly Roger himself was huge, so we guessed he wasn’t getting food poisoning every night! It’s been great, especially the included rum punch…… Gill reckons it kills the germs….. Our afternoon rum of choice was at Femi’s happy hour – Ant got a taste for rum with coconut water, Gill dilutes her (a little) with cranberry. Ant of course smothered everything – apart from the rum - with Marie Sharp’s Fiery Hot Belizean hot sauce.

Really glad we came, it is beautiful here, but we fear that it will be spoiled by development within the next ten years, The neighbouring island – Ambergris Caye (San Pedro) was immortalised in Madonna’s song Isla Bonita. From what we understand that has already been ruined by tourist developments. We do hope Caye Caulker survives.