The Glyngarth Villa, a Scottish style, turreted, hunting Lodge, built in 1850 by one of the Snooty Ooty crowd, is now a heritage home with five enormous bedrooms, a reading room, dining room and a sitting room. A sweeping staircase, stuffed animal heads on the walls, four- poster beds, wooden floors. A Westminster chimes clock in the hall. Log fires everywhere, manicured lawns with marigolds, cornflowers and roses, spectacular views out over the valley. A round glass summerhouse, picket fences, a swing in the garden and table on the lawn. All this for £35 a night, sounds idyllic doesn’t it?
There had to be a catch and there was! All of the above is true, but we would just like to add that nothing had been touched in 100 years. The yellow wall plaster was peeling, there were damp patches everywhere, the well stocked bar held only empty bottles, the summerhouse had no glass. Gill had no hot water or a flushing loo, the vintage car on the porch hadn’t moved since the 50’s and damp logs don’t make for good fires! And the lawns were ruined by the rotting hulk of a Swiss cottage built as a set for a long forgotten Bollywood movie. A noisy gaggle of geese told us that this was going to be a hoot.
We were the only guests and we had the overwhelming attention of a huge staff – Joshua the manager, Rajesh the butler, Hari the chef, Annan the driver, three fireboys and two room cleaners.
On the staff front things started to get even more ridiculous when our personal musician arrived, just as we were tucking into pre dinner pakoras and a pre prandial gin and Limca (large) in front of a struggling log fire. It was suddenly just too silly – and we had one of those eyes can’t meet moments as we just knew we would lose it in hysteria. This wasn’t helped when said personal musician revealed his Yamaha organ and gave a jaunty rendition of Che Sera Sera. You had to be there, but it will be one of the more abiding memories. After dinner we also discovered the 1930’s wind up gramophone, and took a turn about the floor with Joshua in that very 30’s way.
Things got a lot worse a little later after a few more post prandial G&T’s. As the staff lined up in the hall to wish us goodnight, Gill stumbled (staggered.. ) over the step that she was sure hadn’t been there earlier….
At night it was bloody freezing, even Rajesh the butler was sporting a beanie hat after dark – this complemented by his elaborate bindi and bow tie. House rules dictated that the sitting room fire could only be lit after 6pm. Bedroom fires ten minutes before bed. These fires were never really a success in generating any heat at all in these enormous rooms, despite the continuous efforts of the three young fireboys. The upside though is that you don’t need to unpack, take many showers or undress as it’s too cold! Gill slept fully clothed with a scarf on for three nights… The dining room was even colder, no fire was lit in there at all. Our candlelit dinner was the fastest on record as the candles and the curry were providing the only heat. Breakfast was better as some sunshine got through – and coffee was brought to us on the lawn whilst we stood in the sun defrosting as hot dosas and banana pancakes were prepared for us. Diet, what diet?
There had to be a catch and there was! All of the above is true, but we would just like to add that nothing had been touched in 100 years. The yellow wall plaster was peeling, there were damp patches everywhere, the well stocked bar held only empty bottles, the summerhouse had no glass. Gill had no hot water or a flushing loo, the vintage car on the porch hadn’t moved since the 50’s and damp logs don’t make for good fires! And the lawns were ruined by the rotting hulk of a Swiss cottage built as a set for a long forgotten Bollywood movie. A noisy gaggle of geese told us that this was going to be a hoot.
We were the only guests and we had the overwhelming attention of a huge staff – Joshua the manager, Rajesh the butler, Hari the chef, Annan the driver, three fireboys and two room cleaners.
On the staff front things started to get even more ridiculous when our personal musician arrived, just as we were tucking into pre dinner pakoras and a pre prandial gin and Limca (large) in front of a struggling log fire. It was suddenly just too silly – and we had one of those eyes can’t meet moments as we just knew we would lose it in hysteria. This wasn’t helped when said personal musician revealed his Yamaha organ and gave a jaunty rendition of Che Sera Sera. You had to be there, but it will be one of the more abiding memories. After dinner we also discovered the 1930’s wind up gramophone, and took a turn about the floor with Joshua in that very 30’s way.
Things got a lot worse a little later after a few more post prandial G&T’s. As the staff lined up in the hall to wish us goodnight, Gill stumbled (staggered.. ) over the step that she was sure hadn’t been there earlier….
At night it was bloody freezing, even Rajesh the butler was sporting a beanie hat after dark – this complemented by his elaborate bindi and bow tie. House rules dictated that the sitting room fire could only be lit after 6pm. Bedroom fires ten minutes before bed. These fires were never really a success in generating any heat at all in these enormous rooms, despite the continuous efforts of the three young fireboys. The upside though is that you don’t need to unpack, take many showers or undress as it’s too cold! Gill slept fully clothed with a scarf on for three nights… The dining room was even colder, no fire was lit in there at all. Our candlelit dinner was the fastest on record as the candles and the curry were providing the only heat. Breakfast was better as some sunshine got through – and coffee was brought to us on the lawn whilst we stood in the sun defrosting as hot dosas and banana pancakes were prepared for us. Diet, what diet?
