Don't Put All Your Eggs In One Basket (20 February 2011)

I've been having a little difficulty with the Thai language today. Take the title above. The correct translation is "don't send all your underwear to the laundry at one time, as they'll lose half of it and you're stuffed...." And then try and argue the toss in Thai and get them to try and find it. I lost. All I can hope is some poor bloke finding a collection of ladies undies in his laundry will take them back..... But given the Asian way of not losing face, I'm not sure I'll ever see them again as even if they do find them they won't want to admit their mistake. Hey ho. Funny thing was, I took this lot to a different laundry after overhearing a conversation at the one I used to use where some bloke had not got a shirt back.... He got nowhere either......
The other problems with the Thai language were less expensive. I am continually asked to "buy taxi", it was only today that the penny dropped and they were asking me if I wanted a " bike taxi". And getting the right wifi code earlier was frustrated for ages when Kilo 1 2 3 was actually Zero 1 2 3. We got there in the end!
I have spent another day looking around the island, this time in an unplanned way. I was heading for Bophut, the Fisherman's village in the North and duly stopped a songthaew (baht bus). It was only as we were on our way that I realised I had had yet another language malfunction. The "chay ka nar ton" that he had barked at me and I had nodded at as if I understood actualy meant I had to "change to a different car in Nathon", the ferry port at the other side of the island and in the opposite direction to where I wanted to go. But no matter, it was a fun diversion, I saw more of the island and the driver made double the bahts as it was twice the distance it should have been, wins all round...... At said Nathon, I duly changed to a different songthaew and made my way to Bophut.



It's a really nice place, quite small with a pale, narrow beach, calm sheltered blue water and a view out to hangover island - or rather Koh Phangnan where the full moon party actually took place last night, even though the full moon was the day before. I think the ban on alcohol sales for Buddha Day probably forced the change in date!
I think this is the posh side of the island as the Four Seasons is just up the road and there is a new "W" that has just opened near here too. I stopped for a while at the Billabong Surf Club overlooking the beach and was treated to an impromptu concert. The guy who was doing the "turn" at the afternoon party was practising his set and belting out all the old Elton John classics to me and the bar staff...
After my morning travels I realised it was a two car journey to get back to Lamai, so headed into Chewang for another look at the shops and a Starbucks on the way. But no joy on the shopping front, it's same, same as before, and still no chance of fitting into any of the cozzies on sale unless I pop to Bangkok for a bit of lipo..... now there's an idea! But in fact that has been done before. I can pass on this gossip now as it's not Buddha Day. There's a Brit girl here who has an Amazonian physique, albeit with quite large hands and a fairly deep voice. She is very proud of her body, and even though generally it's not "done" here, wanders the beach and pool showing off her surgically improved boobs. But according to a couple of Brits who have been coming here for the last three years as apparently has she, she has changed rather drastically in a lot of ways and now gives any Thai ladyboy a run for their money.... An impressive advert for Thai body surgery!
Chewang was overrun with hundreds of motorbikes and looked like a Harley Davison convention, but I understand it was the Samui Pirates Bike Ride on behalf of the Thai Red Cross. An impressive collection of modern and vintage machines went roaring through the streets. But I did find a "car" home and didn't have to rely, even with all these bikes around, on "buying a taxi"!



*footnote - someone obviously decided against keeping my lost undies and I now have got 80% back. Where the rest are, who knows....

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPad

No Beer For Buddha (18 February 2011)

Today is Mahga Puja Day in Thailand, which is a national holiday, and sometimes known as Buddha Day. It celebrates a day nine months after the Buddha’s enlightenment when a large number of monks appeared one day and he preached to them of the three fundamental teachings of Buddhism which are:
Not to do evil
To do good
To purify the mind



I did my bit this evening and made a visit to the temple. The temple here at Lamai is quite workaday and also acts as a community hall. Similar in design to lots of others but smaller, with a small stupa and temple building. I was a bit concerned about the dress code as I know they can be strict here and online it tells you that as well as the usual arms and legs to be covered, you should wear shoes that have backs in them, which I don't have. But I needn't have worried, everyone was in flip flops and a lot of the local girls were sporting very short skirts, much more relaxed than temples in Bangkok. Very few temple wraps around, just normal clothes, but I was still glad I had made the effort.
It appeared as if people were visiting on their way home from work. Each person walks around the outside of the temple three times holding a lighted candle and some flowers, it's nice to watch. They also make the usual temple offerings which include things for the monks. My favourite amongst all the yellow cellophaned packages was a gift set of toothbrushes, toothpaste and other essentials, duly wrapped in yellow and proudly sporting the Tesco logo (there is huge Tesco Superstore just up the road), where they obviously do a good trade in these. Must look out for them when I'm home.... Perhaps they were on double points......


Apparently, many people will attempt to observe the Five Precepts today, even if only for a few days. This is how I got on:

To abstain from harming living things (sorry, I just had to spray that mozzie)
To abstain from stealing (definitely, but does this mean that they don't observe this normally?)
To abstain from sexual immorality (definitely, but not sure about the fat German's and the Thai girls...)
To abstain from telling lies, from backbiting, gossip, and intrigue (if only I'd heard some gossip...)
To abstain from all intoxicants (ah, perhaps just a small pre dinner duty free gin in the room...)
In addition, some Buddhists will also observe a further three precepts, which are:
To abstain from eating after midday (no chance!)
To abstain from singing, dancing and public entertainment, and wearing perfume or ornaments (I managed most of this, but did keep my earrings on)
To abstain from using a high bed or soft chair (does a sunbed count....)

I suppose I could have done better.....

The one about abstaining from alcohol is interesting as it has a visible effect on the little town, where it is not available today. Everywhere is very quiet, most of the bars are closed and in those that are open and the restaurants, the patrons are all drinking Coke and 7Up from bottles with straws, looking like a load of children's parties. There is a store that sells beer that has chairs outside and a motley collection of Europeans were drinking beer from bottles wrapped in white carrier bags like wino's in New York. At least they had the grace to look guilty.
I'm not sure that the big bar here by the crossroads is doing its bit though, most people were drinking very large mugs of coffee..... I think that it was like in India where beer was served in teapots! Also today the town has more of a Saga look about it Anyone under the age of thirty has taken the boat over to Koh Phangan for the monthly Full Moon Party which is an all night drink and drug fest. I guess if the precept about no intoxicating substances is taken seriously there, there will be an island full of very disappointed people!

Up Hill and Down Dale (12 February 2011)

Today I decided that I had been too lazy too long and convincing myself that a short walk around the shops in the evening was anything like exercise was not even convincing me, so today I decide to go to Chaweng Beach, the main beach on the island with a bigger choice of shops. I had two choices, pay my £1 and get one of the local communal tuk tuks or walk. I decided to walk. Now I knew that there was one hill on the way as I remembered that from the drive here, but my memory was a bit wrong, there were quite a few..... as soon as I had navigated one expecting to see a beach laid out before me, another appeared. I also didn't take enough notice of the map, the fact there were several highlighted viewing spots along the way should really have alerted me - viewing spots tend to be higher up....



It was a bit like taking a walk around the South Circular (albeit with much better scenery and much bigger hills....). There is one main road that goes around the island and is busy with cars, mororbikes, buses, lorries and tuk tuks. Very few other people were walking, so much so that as I struggled up hills, various locals on mororbikes very kindly stopped and asked if I wanted a lift... the walk felt a bit dangerous at times, traffic, not people, but perching on the back of a local bike was probably even more so..... The local viewing spots provided respite and water but I have yet to spot the "Elephant Rock" shape at one of them, with glasses or without! I achieved a total of six miles to get there. Ant tells me his record for this is 48 minutes - it took me a little longer..... I had, very briefly, toyed with the thought of hiring a motorbike to get around, but sensibly decided against it taking all the warnings into account. The wisdom of my decision was brought home to me very graphically whilst I stood on a corner checking my map, and a young white guy comes careening around the corner, skids on some sand and falls off. He was wearing no helmet, no shirt and listening to his iPod at the same time time. Luckily he seemed to have suffered no more than a monumental loss of dignity and a horribly scraped back as he cooly got back on and drove off, but I guess that badly scraped back will feel a lot less cool later on today, and his dignity may take even longer to recover. I am continually surprised that so many European families hire these things and follow the local tradition of no helmets, two adults and a tiny baby tucked in the middle, madness.
There were lots of interesting places to peer at on the way, local restaurants, homea, car repair shops, 10 Baht stalls and my favourite, the colourful Spirit House Wholesaler.






But a welcome Starbucks and a ruinous chocolate lamington awaited me on arrival, as well as a "farmer's tan". I had piled on the sunscreen but was out in the sun longer than intended so now sport an unusual tan pattern. Lovely brown legs up to the knees, so much so that I think tomorrow I will look as if I am wearing a rather unfetching pair of American tan popsox - nice! Perhaps I should do as others, mainly Russians do, and wander along the streets in a small, very revealing bikini, really taking note of local cultural sensibilities.... It's interesting, this time in Koh Samui, there are very few British voices, the German's and Scandinavian's are still here, but there are many more Russians and surprisingly, French voices around. Chewang Beach is as I remember, the fake shops (that is, shops selling fakes as opposed to shops pretending to be shops if you get my drift) are still there, LV, Chanel, Hermes, Bally and D &G abound as well as Rolexes by the dozen. The tat is disappointingly the same as in Lamai... but still fun to browse through. Business seems to be booming though, the only closed down shop I saw was Boots, but no matter, there were three more along the street I could visit to get both a welcome shot of aircon and a bargain two for one on Soltan. Only downside is they don't take my Advantage Card! Not that I knew that until I had paid. The one difference here from last time is that most text everywhere (including till receipts) is in Thai, where I remember it before being in English. And as you know, my knowledge of the Thai language is limited to "why why", so a till receipt is way beyond me. I also discover a new hotel rating catergory as on the way to Chaweng, I pass a hotel describing itself as "budget luxury"...


I walk to the far north of Chewang Beach where it is sheltered by a small island and has powdery white sand, very pretty.



The one downside is that the airport is situated just behind here, handy for tourists if a little noisy as Bangkok Air planes arrive every hour.... but having said that, their planes are rather pretty to look at, painted with orchids....
I did think about walking back but decided that the outlay of a £1 was worth it...




- Posted using BlogPress from my iPad

Enter the dragon (7 February 2011)

I am enjoying a quiet time here at Lamai Beach, hence the lack of blog posts, a relaxing time but nothing of any note to report. Still big waves but I am managing to avoid them as I take a walk along the beach. It is a lovely beach, wide enough to be quiet as you walk along but all sorts of beach bars and little hotels lining up along the back.


But things livened up last night in the streets behind the beach where all the shops and restaurants are. I thought that the Thai yellow shirts had returned, but no, it was just something to do with Chinese New Year.



There was lots of drumming, a "dragon" dancing, a parade through the streets and lots of noise. I had noticed over the last few days that some of the shops had what looked like red paper decorations hanging down. Now I know these were not paper decorations at all but strings of particularly noisy firecrackers. As the dragon visited each shop/restaurant, the firecrackers were lit and made a tremendous noise, until finally the one at the top exploded with an even louder bang and threw out piles of red shredded paper. Then money is placed into the mouth of the dragon before he goes on his way to repeat the whole thing at the next place. You can imagine the noise as he moved along the street followed by the procession and the drums and the whole place became awash with red paper. Quite a celebration, but I hope now that that is the end of the very loud fireworks for a while.....
Lamai Beach is still the same mix of families, older couples, backpackers and fat men with Thai girls. The strip behind the beach is a nice place to wander around in the evening, always busy and a choice of places to eat, shop or drink. And all virtually open air, so nice not to be confined in aircon.
And I am still amused by the signwriter's typo's here. I like the "Do Do Laundry", especially handy for those with dogs. The "Glasshopper Cocktail" is perhaps in celebration of the Chinese New Year. The Thai massage which costs you "200 Baths" for one hour must be very clean. But my favourite so far is the place where you can let out all your frustrations in their "Chair For Rant"....







- Posted using BlogPress from my iPad

Wild Weather at the Wanta (February 2, 2011)

Have arrived in Koh Samui and intend to stop here for a few weeks. Enough of planes, trains and automobiles for a while. I chose here, as it is the dry season, so am still confused as to why I was greeted by dark, menacing clouds, flooded roads, sandbags at the airport to keep the water at bay and huge waves on the beach..... And chilly in the evening. Ok, I know the waves look a bit tame in this pic, but trust me they are quite impressive!



But having said that, I am not complaining North Queensland has a huge cyclone bearing down on it and Chicago is suffering from possibly their worst storm ever.


Yet another early start this morning to catch the 8.15 am flight. I flew with Bangkok Airways who continue to be great - so great that I didn't have to pay for it, I had accrued enough frequent flyer miles with them to get a freebie. I used their lounge in Bangkok Airport - which is open to everyone who flies with them and has food, papers, mags, coffee and free wifi. I don't know how they do it, but on a 45 minute flight they manage to serve a full plane with breakfast and not just the odd squashed Danish (and only then if the flight's over two hours) thrown at you a la British Airways. A full on tray job with yoghurt, croissants, muffins, juice, water and good hot coffee. Speed eating was required to get it eaten in time! The only down side was that there were rather a lot of Russians on board who can be a bit noisy. When the pilot executed a perfect landing, they all broke out in applause, but I suppose if all you are used to is Aeroflot.....
Koh Samui airport is lovely too and I especially like the gaily painted little road trains that transport you from the plane to the arrivals area, which is a series of little thatched huts, very pretty but also very efficient. The luggage was through in no time.
I am back staying at the Lamai Wanta on Lamai Beach, I have stayed here before and liked it. I am starting off in a garden bungalow, but as they get booked up really early, and I booked too late, I have to move to a room in a couple of weeks. Pity really, the bungalow is lovely, big, minimalist and a glimpse of the sea. There was a towel sculpture on the bed when I arrived, two swans decorated with frangipani flowers, very realistic and I felt really guilty dismantling them to take a shower!



This morning was settling in, filling the fridge from the local 7/11 and most important of all taking virtually the whole contents of my suitcase to the laundry. I have been looking forward to doing that for weeks! It will be such a pleasure to have a choice of clean clothes rather than pick out the least grubby ones....



One of the reasons I like this place is that the hotels are all small independents directly on the beach but the road behind them is lined with shops, restaurants, fast food places, laundries, massage parlours, manicure shops, even a small Thai boxing ring - you name it, it's here. So whilst you you feel you are on a nice quiet beach, you are never far away from life and there's always somewhere to take a walk and of course, to shop!
There's other wild stuff going on here as well, every so often I get the fright of my life as really loud firecrackers are set off, it's been going on all day and all evening. I assume it's to do with the Chinese New Year which starts tomorrow. Well girls, it's the year of the Rabbit - I could of course make a tasteless joke at this stage, but am far too refined.....
- Posted using BlogPress from my iPad

I Don't Like Mondays.......(31 January - 2 February 2011)

........which is a good job really as I am about to lose one as I take the long flight over the Pacific from LA to Hong Kong and cross the International Dateline. The flight marathon started early this morning (Sunday), finally leaving the Caribbean. From Puerto Rico, on to Miami, then to LA, and I am now in the lounge waiting to board the next leg.
The lady I was next to on the American Airlines flight from Miami to LA was interesting. She had dark hair, was stick thin and she was togged out in a Chanel jacket, Versace handbag, and whilst I couldn't take a look at any more labels without appearing too rude, they certainly looked a bit smarter than my Primark/Asda ensemble.... I thought she was Chinese as I had great difficulty understanding her, but I slowly came to realise that it was the exaggerated pout of her top lip that was causing the problem...... not sure why she didn't have the bottom lip done at the same time, but I guess the full on Donald Duck look really is so last year. Then I realised the eyes weren't Asian either, just surgery by the look of them, good though, I couldn't see the scars.... She was also sporting an impressively large and perfect pair of bangers for such a small framed person....
From the little I could understand from her odd accent, she is the girlfriend of someone who has something to do with the Attorney General and they had been to some conference and stayed in the Ritz Carlton. She lives in a hotel in Beverly Hills as her boyfriend had suggested she gave up her condo.... Sounds a bit "Pretty Woman" to me - only in LA......
Don't quite know why it worked out like this but I have a really long wait in LA between flights. As is usual when I am here, it's really cold and raining, so I hung about at the arrivals bit for a while in the hope of seeing Posh, Becks or Simon Cowell, but no luck so gave up and am now chomping my way through the free food and fizz in the oneworld lounge.
Finally I board and settle in for the fifteen and a half hour flight over the top of the world to Hong Kong. It was surprisingly comfortable (thanks Cathay Pacific, highly recommended), and the fact that I watched only one film (Wall Street 2 - disappointing) and one BBC documentary (one hour), ate very little dinner, breakfast and apart from the glass of champagne on boarding, only half a glass of wine tells you that I must have slept quite a lot.....
The connection in Hong Kong was unfortunately quite tight so no time for shopping, pity really as my camera is on its last legs, and I actually had an excuse to spend money. I like Hong Kong airport, it's like Westfield on steroids.....
I finally, safely and uneventfully, and on Tuesday lunchtime, land in Bangkok and check into my favourite little boutique hotel (for that read clean, handy and cheap.....), The Great Residence, near the airport, including a good distant view of the runway, together with the airport sounds, ready to jet off again for pastures re visited, Koh Samui. It sports the latest hotel fashion, a full on wet room (for that read a tiny room with a loo, basin and a shower with no walls so everything including the loo roll gets soaked when you have a shower.....). But I must like it, I have stayed here at least four times and more to come, now if only they had a loyalty card.....
It is good to be back in Asia, and to recognise the sights and smells of the place - the sights of smiling people who really seem to mean it as opposed to the often insincere "have a good day" in the US, and the smells, that memorable combination of incense and sewers.... plus ca change! And of course, it is always good to be back in whywhy country.


- Posted using BlogPress from my iPad