A girly chat... (25 - 29 January 2013)

.... well, not quite, it was actually me, the local female bar owner and the Ladyboy bar owner from next door. For some reason the last few days has been really quiet and as I sipped my pre dinner why why I got chatting to these two. Both are from the North East of the country. The ladyboy is very tall and elegant and her style of dress is rather "Duchess of Windsor". The other girl had really good English and was telling me all about her family from Isaan. She moved here to open her bar only seven months ago after spending a few years in Bangkok. She has a sister still there but her brother is still in Isaan and is a monk. Most Thai boys become a monk for a short period to gain grace for their families, but he has taken up the life full time. He is now a "teacher monk" and has many diplomas, some of which have been presented to him by the King. She was, rightly, very proud of this. We then got to talking about the King and she was telling me how many Thai's are "frightened" for the future as the King is ill and they are fearful of what will happen when he is no longer around. She says he is a good King, he has forced change here but it has been good change. The Crown Prince is not at all popular, whereas the Crown Princess is well liked. But she says there is no way she can inherit as there have always only been Kings here. So she and her friends spend time at the temple most days praying for the King's health and giving alms to the monks.
And I think there was a Royal visit here in the last few days. Lots of Thai Royal Navy ships out in the bay and loads of police lining the roads. But ships and police have now disappeared so whoever it was must have gone back to their palace.
And I am getting used to my nice little palace here although the water in my pool is a bit on the cool side! Still having a lazy time but have done the odd trip into Chaweng for a huge Sunday lunch at Tropical Murphy's, didn't realise how much I missed frozen peas!




On the songtheow on the way in there were quite a few young Europeans looking the worse for wear, but I realised that they had just got off the ferry from Koh Phangan where the Full Moon Party had taken place the night before. I think the rough ride with the windy weather didn't help any of them! And there's been a local, small fair just off the main road.


It's on for ten days and has lots of stalls selling all kinds of foods but I did avoid the fermented pork salad! Plenty of stalls selling clothes, portraits of the King, sunglasses, toiletries and a stage area where I assume the noise I hear later in the evening comes from.


There are also a few old fashioned fairground stalls where you can throw darts to burst balloons or throw tennis balls to knock down tin cans (that look suspiciously nailed down on the shelf...) and win a huge cuddly toy. But it was great to wander around and enjoy the mixed smells of bbq food and damp grass.



I've also spent a bit of time exploring the local beach but it's unusually windy at the moment so it's not that comfortable a place to spend time. I found a great little beach bar with fab sunbeds, looked like Thailand of old and smelled like it too, the faint whiff of something slightly illegal wafting about in the air....




There are some really good places to eat around here too. I did try the hotel but they don't seem to have quite got the hang of it. The restaurant is in a great location, right on the edge of the beach, with little pools and streams running through it. Staff everywhere. But their first big mistake was their inability to serve me a glass of why why, big mistake, huge..... They could do a bottle but not a glass, something to do with changing their supplier.... Then the food I ordered was not good and a complaint just met with a Thai smile.... No wonder the place is empty every night but the local places are busy.
But I haven't been too lazy, I've still managed to do a bit of walking. The dogs here seem to get more and more by the day, but I enjoy seeing the progress of a group of small puppies in the local village. And the local water buffalo population is expanding too, last night I noticed a small calf, but the mother had rather large horns so I gave her an even wider berth than normal...

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I do love a little flashpack (19 - 23 January 2013)

After quite a few weeks at the Florist it was time to move on to a bit of flashpacking, courtesy, I think, of Mr cock up visiting the Agoda.com site. I find myself ensconced in a big villa, sitting room, bedroom and a private pool at a bargain rate.



I am at the Samui Buri Resort a couple of miles up the beach from where I was. It's a bit more "resorty" than I am used to but I am not arguing with the little luxuries I had quite forgotten. Simple things like real coffee, decent bread, hot water in the hand basin, a shower where the decision isn't between water pressure or hot water, no ants in the jam, that sort of thing.... And a turn down service that leaves an oil burner alight wafting jasmine fragrance everywhere.


The hotel design appears to be a slightly scaled down version of the Grand Palace in Bangkok, however, I think the real thing has borne the test of time a little better. Some areas are a little "tired", but overall I am happy, although the pictures on the website of the private pool were taken with an industrially wide lens.... There are also a few food and beverage offers, none of which beat the prices at the little restaurants outside. There is one that did interest me though, an unlimited why why offer at the pool bar. For 600 baht (about £12) you could have as much as you wanted but when I realised this was all to be taken within one (very happy....) hour, I decided even I couldn't do justice to that!
But the hotel is set in a lovely little community, lots of local restaurants, houses, shops, and the requisite "Armani" tailoring store. I was chatting to the owner who was bemoaning the fact that there was no tailoring business to be had any more. He seemed very aware that European's wear formal business stuff less and less but hadn't seemed to connect that still offering the same old 90's suits and tight satin cocktail frocks was ever going to work. There's a big coconut grove where a few water buffalo are tied to the trees on long ropes and wallow in any patches of mud they find. A lot of these water buffalo are reared for fighting at the local water buffalo fighting stadium so I do give them something of a wide berth. There are also loads of random dogs about, the usual mix of all sorts of breeds, some definitely with a bit of rotweiler in there. I also give these a wide berth. Some wander around the hotel but as they are apparently the local temple dogs, no one does anything about them. Let's just hope they are calm Buddhist dogs with no evil intent...Some of the shop houses have opened small coffee and drinks bars in their front room with a motley selection of badly tiled concrete tables and chairs. A why why in one of these is a good way of giving back to the local community I always feel...



The beach here in the evening is much quieter than up the other end, there are fewer hotels and guest houses on the beach and no firework and lantern sellers. The hotel, in the in room info, goes to great pains to tell guests that it is illegal to sell
and let off these fireworks and lanterns and anyone caught faces a rather large fine. And as you know I never want to star in Banged Up Abroad.....

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Gossip Girls (11 - 18 January 2013)

So Carole finally arrived after a rather tortuous five flight journey. She did well coming to terms with the "boutique" (for that read many fewer stars than she's used too.....) Florist Hotel. She got used to walking through the local chickens on the way to the main road, skirting around the huge water buffalo tied up by his nose in the field and averting her eyes as the local dogs tried yet again to produce a yet further variety of the Heinz 57 mutts that patrol the streets here. She learned to sleep through the dog "karaoke" that goes on most nights and she even braved the Nescafe and white bread breakfast here.



Talking of dogs, Carole also got to know Botpek, the hotel dog. A nice little doggie and my substitute Dyl, Totie and Gracie all rolled into one eleven year old local poodle mix. And Carole's substitute for Buckley, Wilf, Billy, Balloo and Rudy...


But most of all we settled into the pattern of our days. Making something of an effort we normally managed a few miles walking in the morning whilst it was still reasonably cool, although at times using our umbrellas for shade we did look rather like two local ladies out for a stroll... Lolling by the pool, catching up on all the gossip, taking a trip to Bo Phut for a sumptuous fresh seafood dinner, going into the "city", Chewang, to look at the shops, all same same and no different, and of course making the obligatory stop at Tropical Murphy's, my favourite Irish Bar. And if Swiss custom's are reading this, then no, Carole did not succumb to any fake bags or anything else! And the weather has played ball too. The odd bit of rain but mainly sunny skies, but a pattern of wind in the day with biggish waves at the beach but by evening, calming down to a millpond, good for reflecting the odd firework displays that still happen intermittently during the evenings as we carry on gossiping over a freshly cooked plate of huge prawns or swee an sour wee stee rye in the little restaurant on the beach.


And of course, whilst I had done quite a bit of why why why research on Carole's behalf, as you would expect she was keen to test it out for herself. The results are still being analysed.... And we also tried the odd cocktail or two, deciding I think that on balance, Mojito's beat a Mai Tai...
But whatever the cocktail is, it will always taste good in a local beach bar out there on the sand and under the stars. And Carole experienced the joys of Mae Nam Walking Street, drinking a Mojito whilst wandering around the stalls and afterwards a why why in the famed Firestation Bar.



So what has been the gossip? Well, the Firestation Bar and Grill seems to have closed down again, the ladyboy who runs Jordan's got married last month (not sure who to...) and we were admiring her new rings, the jury's still out on whether it was a bird or a rat scuttling under the decking in the local beach bar, what nationality are the couple in the end room who are up at the crack of dawn putting out towels on their sunbed (answers on a postcard please....) and of course that really juicy bit about P&G. It appears that - oh sorry, must go, sun's just gone down and why why calls......
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It's Thursday, it must be Walking Street (9 - 10 January 2013)

I know I've said it before but the weeks here just drift by nicely and it's only Walking Street that punctuates the time. Each Thursday, Mae Nam comes alive with all sorts of stalls and people, otherwise it's just, as one local described it, a "bit like Beirut", empty! But each Thursday it's good to wander into the Firestation bar and be greeted by the expats and have a why why and a chat.
But on the subject of why why there have been a couple of abject lessons on the demon drink in the last couple of days. I was quite happily sitting in Jordan's Sports Bar last night (I know, but their wiffy is fast...) catching up with Dragon's Den Xmas Special and tucking into bbq ribs when an altercation broke out. A very drunk Austrian or German lady had taken exception to the guy running the French restaurant across the street, (WW2 revisited...), following which a physical fight broke out. Interestingly, the insults being traded were all in their second language, English... All in all, not a pretty sight.... And then today, one of the waiters who was here last time I stayed here had been absent for a while and re appeared today, proudly showing off the huge scar on his leg. He had had an altercation with the road after coming off his motorbike after driving home on New Year's Eve after the party here and a few too many Singha's. Bad anywhere but in the absence of anything resembling sick pay here, he has had to take the time off as his holidays. With the new minimum wage of only £6 a day, even one day off must be hard to manage.
So with these two examples I was ready to sign the pledge. But off course Carole is now on her way, and so far has taunted me with texts about drinking champagne in the BA lounge. That will be a distant memory when she arrives, but the least I can do is to steer her in the direction of the odd why why, so my signing of the pledge will just have to wait...


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Cultural Confusion (5 January 2013)

How lucky am I, my biggest decision most days is what and where to eat. Breakfast is sorted at the French Bakery for decent coffee and real bread, but the choice for dinner here in Mae Nam, even though it's really quiet, includes Thai (posh Thai, medium posh Thai or local Thai, on the beach or off the beach), a Thai mobile pancake stall, fresh seafood, Italian, French, Swiss, Korean, German. The only cuisine missing is British but Jordan's Sports Bar does a good line in pies, they say they are home made but I have yet to check that. But I can vouch for their pre dinner why why. An interesting place, owned, I think, by an elderly Brit and run by quite a convincing Ladyboy...
It's quite a hub on Thursdays when "Walking Street" happens, and again I have met quite a good group of expats. The usual haunt on Thursday's was The Firestation, but since an altercation between the girl behind the bar and the owner, it's not been open. She left and Thai law says that the owner can't actually work behind the bar, so no one to serve. She graphically told us her reasons for leaving, interspersed with heavily Thai accented but very British swear words. Words I'm sure they don't feature on the Thai school curriculum!
But if I'm in the mood for a bit of tv the best place for decent reliable wifi is the Rendevous restaurant. So tonight finds me eating Lasagne (no chips, so not the Welsh version...), in a French restaurant in Koh Samui and watching Made in Chelsea... Confused or what!



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All dressed up and nowhere to go (December 31 2012 - January 1 2013)

I think this best describes the tables on the beach early on New Year's Eve here in Mae Nam. All covered in nice white cloths bedecked with balloons and set in front of the little temporary stage. But the weather, really unusually for here in late December, had other ideas. There had been sharp heavy showers on and off all day but with a big "Thai Gala dinner" due to start at 6.30pm, the weather decided it was time to turn it up a notch at 6.15pm. Thunder, lightning and monsoon rains. The hotel were putting on this free night for all guests and had brought in different Thai food stalls, a cocktail stall and various entertainments, all laid out with beautiful floral decorations, the Florist Resort living up to its name. All meant to be on the beach but now crammed into the semi open air restaurant and covered with various tarpaulins and beach umbrellas . Rain poured in like waterfalls between the edges of the tarps. The girls cooking on the little stalls swathed in beach towels but getting wetter by the minute. Luckily this is a laid back resort so no fancy hairstyles or frocks to get ruined. But in a mixture of Thai acceptance of fate and Brit war spirit the now rather cramped celebrations got under way with Thai smiles everywhere.





As well as "mama" and of course "why why?", my other salutation is now "no packchi" (coriander), sing songed by any waiter who takes my order. So tonight as soon as I had sat down one of them brought me, with great relish and ceremony, a plate of whatever he considered the signature dish of the evening but without said packchi. Best described as a transparent, deep fried, thin, more oil than batter pancake tasting rather fishy with bits of those tiny preserved prawns dotted in it sitting on a bed of cold bean sprouts... Perhaps the packchi might have improved it.... But offending in Thailand is a real no no so I managed to work my way through some of it before trying all the other delights on offer, which were all really good! Probably helped by the large "gin tonic" cocktails which I had turned to in the absence of why why. But being all crammed in together gets people talking more, and everyone, apart from a table of stuck up Brits who left early, talked happily . An Austrian and his Thai wife and beautiful baby Jennifer who live in KL, some Swiss people who run a charity in India, a young couple from South Africa who had a mammoth journey home the next day, all human life was there! The rain was still bucketing down but the entertainment went on, a surprisingly good duo, followed by competitions to drink beers quickly through a straw (I didn't take part, but had they substituted why why for the beer I may have been tempted...).



Then the bartender show. The guy running the cocktail stall starts his Tom Cruise. He starts with plastic bottles and then as his confidence rises he moves on to juggling empty Malibu bottles.


Slight overconfidence as one falls early on and shatters at my feet. But obviously a frequent occurrence as like Debbie McGee, his trusty glamorous assistant is ready with the dustpan and brush... Undaunted, he then moves on to his grand finale. The smell of petrol fills the air (remember we are still in our cosy confined space as it's still raining). Rags are stuffed into the necks of more Malibu bottles and the lighter appears.... Health and Safety, where are you when I need you? The music gets more dramatic as the complex juggling of these molotov cocktails begins. I decide now is a good time to wander away and check if the rain has stopped... Disaster averted as the wet floor douses the flames from a few more dropped bottles then the karaoke begins..... But even the weather couldn't bear that and as soon as it started at about 10.45 suddenly a little bit of a New Year moon peeked through the clouds and the rain stopped. Gradually people drifted on to the beach and out came the lantern and firework sellers. The weather must really have hit these guys as well as the local bars, it should have been one of their most lucrative evenings of the year. The lanterns started going up. And finally (it had been quite a long evening...) midnight came. Auld Lang Syne played, the sky filled with lanterns, an environmental nightmare, but they did look pretty. Some people go for a swim. And the fireworks start. The hotel is in the middle of a long sweeping bay and it was fun to have a view not only of the large 5* hotel displays in the distance and small individual ones closer by but also those along the length of the south shore of Koh Phangnam, the island across the bay. The sound of the fireworks was almost drowned out by sound of what must have been millions of frogs all singin' in the rain.
It was a lovely evening and many thanks must go to the family and staff who run the Florist Resort for their hard work and generous hospitality.
And the King also posted a nice New Year message. Am glad to see his doggies dressing for the occasion.


Happy 2013 everybody.
Wishing to start the New Year on a positive note, I ignore the Nescafé and white sliced at the empty hotel restaurant, eerily empty, can't believe I seem to be the only one about, and wander to the French cafe. But disapointment. Le patron informs me with a Gallic shrug and a wave up the road "no baguette, le backery 'ee is clos-edd" . I had suddenly entered the world of "allo allo"... But I guess he feels that most days as my order for "cafe au lait" owes more to that British officer than any French he is aware of...



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