No don't worry, I'm not about to appear in an episode of "Banged Up Abroad" or featuring as a real life Nicole Kidman in Bangkok Hilton! Before I came here I forked out for a year's visa to stop having to do a visa run out of the country. Actually, the immigration laws here have changed and tightened up since the military have been in charge and you can't do the visa run thing more than once any more anyway, you have to extend your visa here, for a fee of course! But even though I have a full year visa I am still required to report to the police every 90 days. And the police here are a bit scary with their tightly belted, high waisted crimplene outfits and many have guns about their person too. You do get the impression that they're not for crossing, unlike our friendly UK version....
You also hear terrible stories of day long waits at the police immigration office. But no problem at all, I turn up, hand in my passie and its back to me in 15 minutes, with a huge piece of paper stapled into it, no additional charge, they've obviously sorted out the old corruption there too where extra "local" charges were added on... The military Government are doing something right then as ridding the place of corruption is a major part of their remit. Apparently you are supposed to be able to do this 90 day report online now but it requires a couple of things I don't have, a Windows computer running Internet Explorer and a printer. The printer I could probably sort but is there anyone left in the world with a Windows computer? And Microsoft are in the process of dumping IE anyway, withdrawing support and replacing it with Edge. Even with the required old fashioned technology, the forums all say it's still not that reliable. It is interesting, Cambodia, their much poorer and less tech savvy neighbour has an Apple and an Android App for getting a Visa, Thailand are really slow at catching up. Perhaps the need for paper and bureaucracy are still too deep in their psyche. I also thought it would be a bit more of an adventure to do myself than to try behind a screen. So off I trot on my songthaew into Nathon, the island's administrative capital on the West coast. It's quite a nice little workaday town and is the major ferry port here.
The law here has also changed today regarding wearing crash helmets on motor bikes. It's been the law for ages that the driver had had to wear one but not the passengers. That all changed today, but from my drive into Nathon no one is taking a blind bit of notice! There are cheery posters around the place with coppers on their bike pointing to their heads. Some posters even have the info in Russian. But my favourite makes it clear in English "Exactly caught!! Full Rate Fined". Well that is English, but I'm not sure it's clear.... It talks in the singular about sitting behind the driver, but I'm not sure where it stands on the bikes carrying five people and their bags... Also there's a new business opportunity for the Chinese to start making crash helmets for tiny babies. It never ceases to amaze me about the stupidity of Europeans here. So often you see Mum, Dad, toddler and tiny baby all on one bike with just Dad wearing a helmet. That in this country that is second only to Afganistan for road accidents.... So irresponsible and they wouldn't dream of doing it back home.
The law has also been in the news here a couple of times to do with foreigners generally recently too. A load of young foreigners were rounded up whilst in a nightclub to check that they were carrying their passports - on balance I think they were probably not. Not something that springs to mind on you pre clubbing checklist - fags, keys, phone, passport..... We apparently are all meant to carry them at all times but that seems a bit of a risk to me. I've got a photo on my phone. I wonder if they collected on the spot fines.... The other story was also a bit silly. Gambling is illegal here so the police raided and arrested a group of old pensioner French expats in Phuket for playing non gambling bridge at their afternoon club....
But apart from my visit today, I hope to keep clear of the cops. I just need to make sure I stop clicking on links to the Daily Mail. Whenever you do it comes up with this scary sign and you are never sure what the Internet police are tracing.... apparently the paper printed some scurrilous gossip about the Crown Prince and Princess which I won't repeat here for obvious reasons! Either that or the Thai's have better taste than us when it comes to the papers...
